the night is not the only place the terrors will find you

For the first time in months, she had woken up from a nightmare.

She had shot out of his arms like she had just been thrown from an ejection seat, a gasp ripping from her chest as she crashed back into consciousness.

It took her a moment. She could sense Ollie beside her, feel his warmth. She knew he was but a moment behind her, from waking, from clutching her against him in an effort to soothe the fear.

But even he couldn’t help that night. It was too real. All of it. There had been no shadows. Every detail was as clear as day. Her muscles felt every slice of pain anew as if the hurt was fresh. No amount of deep breathing could abate the panic. The touch of his hands on her skin did not ground her.

All she could taste was blood and all she could hear was their laughter. Her skin, like the snow they had left her lying in, was icy. It was all almost real. So close she could have been a tiny girl once more, screaming out for someone to help her.

He was there. Thank Merlin he was there.

“I need … I need a shower,” she whispered, carving her fingers through her slick hair.

Pealing the covers off of her legs, she pushed them back as far as they would allow and shakily found her feet. Alice pulled at the top she wore, one of his, and though the smell of him all around her calmed her quaking heart somewhat, she needed it all off. She had the presence of mind to pop her clothes into the hamper but she felt almost inferi-like as she trudged the short walk down the hall to the bathroom.

The shower was turned on immediately to the highest temperature it could manage. She didn’t care about how it would inevitably scald her. She had enough magic to deal with that. She just thrust herself under the jets and grabbed the sponge. Her scrubbing was ferocious, as though she wanted to help the water take her first layer of skin.

Her fever abated as the fatigue of sleeplessness took hold. Her fingers relinquished their hold on the sponge and she reached out to turn the temperature down, sagging against the tiles.

She looked up, hearing the door open above the sound of the water. She pushed the door open a bit with her foot and smiled gently at Ollie, her eyelids heavy, her lips turning back down as soon as they lifted.

“Guess I’m out of practice.”

The bed jolted and Oliver's face scrunched up in his sleep. But then Alice's form was no longer tucked against his side, and there would be absolutely no rest after that. He sat up slowly, his eyes taking her in. Hell of a day to pick, eh, Connolly? It definitely was not starting the way that he had hoped it would. In fact, it was not at all as he had intended it. They had had their movie night, seen the dogs (and Ariel) to bed, and then curled up to chat about the little story they had started the day Oliver found out she could draw. He hadn't found out how far that knowledge went, but elephants were just fine as far as he was concerned.

But this? Not great. Especially for her. "Allie," he murmured, reaching a hand towards her. But it missed, because she spoke over him, getting up to head towards the bathroom. Merlin, not today. He knew it wasn't about him just then, but the day couldn't be about her in this way and still be positive. He had a whole day planned just for her, but it wasn't looking good at this rate. Was this a sign? He glanced at the clock. Merlin, it was early. For them, anyway.

Frowning, Oliver decided that, if nothing else, he could try to turn the day around. He would make it work. Not just for him, of course, but also for her. And because Paul had, miraculously, agreed. Nothing could get in his way now. So he threw back the covers and pushed himself out of bed, trailing behind her. He gave a gentle knock before opening the door and checking around for her. She had already sunk to the floor of the shower, and concern took his features.

Deciding that it would be awkward to just sit across from her and... watch her when she was so vulnerable, he sat down by the door, turned himself around, and then laid out across the foot mat in front of the shower. Tilting his head towards her, Oliver offered a hand palm up. "Not your fault," he reminded her. His gaze drifted up to the ceiling again, and he winced at the bright lights above him. Both eyes shut, then they opened again, one at a time.

"Maybe we should get out of the house today," he suggested after a moment. "Once you're ready. I think we could do with a nice day. Lunch, going for a walk in the afternoon. Maybe fresh air would help?"

Alice couldn’t wait for her dreams to get a new tune. The chime they usually rang was not pleasant, nor sufferable anymore. Combing her hair back, the witch tried to focus on her breathing.

The water was washing away her anxiety, mostly.

The warmth was a reminder that she was further away from that night than she had ever been before.

Ollie’s presence reminded her that above all else she was loved and that he wouldn’t let anything come to pass that would harm her.

But, regardless, she still felt so uncontrollably vulnerable, as though a mischievous gust of wind could send her sprawling over the floor in pieces that couldn’t be put back together again. Part of her wondered if that was already the case.

She shook her head at his reassurance. It felt like her fault. All of it. From the start to now.

She nodded shakily after a moment. He was right. A change of scenery would help, perhaps.

With a flick of magic sent up above her head, Alice shut off the water. Once the last drops subsided, she slowly got to her feet, summoning a towel from the rail. She curled it around herself and sighed sorrowfully.

“I’ll go and get dressed,” she murmured, knowing that any more sleep was entirely off the menu.

She leaned towards the Connolly man for a kiss, one which was as filled with apology as it was a way for her to garner some semblance of strength.

Trudging into their bedroom, she took her wand from the bedside table and dried herself off. She took care to fold up the towel before finding out some underwear from one of the drawers in the wardrobe. She found a sheer set, white with little blue flowers, and she couldn’t help but feel a little bit brighter for it. Pulling a lemon coloured sundress off of the rail, Alice tugged it over her head and padded back into the bedroom, doing the back up with her wand.

She wanted to look nice, still – even if she felt rotten. She applied her make-up carefully as ever, not being too heavy handed with it except to cover the dark circles under her eyes. In the mirror, a witch began to appear who was far more put together than the one sat demurely on the stall before the dressing table. She was tired. Exhausted, in fact, but some of that began to abate as she constructed herself that morning. She felt that, once some breakfast was in her, she might even be able to face the day.

She wasn’t optimistic but she still held out hope.

There were few things that Oliver Connolly was good at when it came to cooking, but breakfast was something he was getting a bit better at. Some parts, anyway, he could manage without trouble. "I'll be in the kitchen," he told her, his fingers trailing down her arm until she had moved too far away for him to maintain contact.

Oliver figured that he could always change after she was done, so he went straight to the fridge and pulled out a series of fruits, and chopped them up before pulling out ice and juice. The lot went into the blender and he let it whir around for a while, until things were smooth for the most part, and tasted it before pouring up two glasses. He capped off the rest and set it in the fridge before putting everything away and taking the cups into their room.

He found her as she was working on her makeup and although he couldn't have cared less if she used the stuff or not, considering he'd think her beautiful whichever way you sliced it (the question, not the fruit), he set down the smoothie next to her and came up alongside her. He looked absurdly underdressed next to her, given he was still in his loose-hanging pajama pants and she was already a good portion of the way through getting ready.

"Gorgeous," he murmured into her ear, kissing her temple. His hand came around her waist, giving her a squeeze, before he tipped his glass back and took a drink as he moved towards the closet.

"Do you mind if we stop off at a bookshop this morning? We can go shop or whatever you like before lunch. Make a whole day of it, like I said. But I'd like to stop in if you don't mind," he said as he moved hangers with his free hand. Coming up with something that looked casual but nice enough to match Alice's attire, he lifted the shirt off of the hangar and moved back to his desk so he could set down the glass and slide his arms into the sleeves. "It's going to be a great day, babe. I can promise you that."

There was a rhythm and regularity to the application of powders and waxes and gels to her face to soothe the irregular flutter in her chest. With every passing moment, she moved further into wakefulness and further away from the nightmares. When Ollie returned, she found the smile came easily and she perked up as soon as she felt the warmth of his presence spread into the room.

A smoothie! Her lips tightened closer together in interest as she leaned forward to look at it. When his arm wound around her waist, a giggle instantly broke past the lightly-painted strips of skin and she leaned back into him, turning her head towards his mouth as he planted a kiss to her temple. She was filled with the urge, then, to tell him that she loved him but she decided to keep hold of the feeling and let it tickle at her chest.

“I’d love to,” she replied earnestly, watching him through the mirror. “I’ve wanted something new to read for a while that isn’t paperwork,” she laughed a little and glanced down at the lipstick she was carefully screwing the cap back onto. “I’m thinking … some sort of shoddy holiday romance.” She laughed again and got to her feet.

Plucking the dress she had chosen off of its hanger, the witch wriggled into it, the soft blue lace of her underwear disappearing under the slip of fabric. She smiled, smoothing out the skirt, and turned around to glance in the mirror. She worried her lower lip briefly and narrowed her eyes before reaching up her back to pop open the clasp of her bra. She slipped out of it and sent it back into the wardrobe’s drawers, deciding the back looked better without the additional band.

Slipping her feet into matching wedge sandals, Alice leaned down and did up the clasps before turning and drifting over to her husband boyfriend, her hands trailing up his chest before it disappeared beneath his shirt. Leaning forward, she pressed her lips to his collarbone and smiled against his skin.

“I have no doubt about that,” she murmured, bringing the shirt together before beginning to do the buttons up. “Because I’m spending it with the man I love. Shall we go and get something hot to drink first and then head to the bookshop?” She suggested, bringing the last button and the shirt together. Leaning up just touch, Alice caught Ollie’s lips with her own, eager to kiss him, eager to fill him with love.

Though her arms slid around his neck and every part of her urged her to deepen the kiss further, to step back and take him to bed once more, the rational part of her mind pointed out she’d neither left him time to reply, nor even really begun their day. It was early to think of such things. Too early. She smiled into the kiss before pulling gently away, exhaling gently before gathering her breath back.

“You look particularly beautiful today yourself,” she said gently, drawing her thumb across his lower lip to wipe away the lipstick she’d left behind. She smiled again, unable to quite keep it from her face, and pulled away to go and get her smoothie. She took a sip and hummed happily before plopping down on her dressing table stool, content, apparently, to drink while she watched Ollie get dressed.

It happened as her laugh broke free. As he looked up at the reflection of the pair of them in Alice's mirror - their mirror, though the possession would hardly have mattered were it anybody else he was sharing with. It happened when his eyes found hers there, his lips curved upwards at the sides, and he sent her a quick wink. It happened. The thought registered.

Keep choosing her.

It wasn't a question for him, whether or not he would listen to that advice he gave himself. He didn't have to actively think about putting her first. That wasn't ever an issue. But he refused to turn around and change, or to wake up one morning and behave as abominably as Keiran had to Millie. Poor man, that Hayes one. The Ivanov one, too. They'd been gone for ages. He couldn't fathom being away from Alice like that, being away from home like that. But he understood that, were it Ariel who had gone missing - no matter how bizarre their friendship was - he would have done anything he could have to help him.

Returning to the task at hand - that of dressing for the day - Oliver offered himself a secret sort of smile, only to find that Alice was crossing the room towards him when he looked up again. One hand came up to her side, the other following suit as her arms curled around his neck. His eyes fell shut and his thumbs smoothed down the fabric of her dress, but then he caught her smile and released her as she backed away.

"Thanks," he returned, only half sarcastically.

Turning his gaze towards the drawer that would hold his trousers for the day, he expressed his agreement. Smoothie aside, they could go for something on the way. She was a smart one, his girl.

Once they had organized themselves and were ready to go, Oliver took charge of the apparition duties. The first stop, of course, was to a café where Alice could pick up her drink of choice, and he suggested that they walk the rest of the way to a bookshop, fearing incidents combining scalding liquid and apparition. It didn't sound like a great plan, all things considered. It wasn't until he turned her through the Leaky and out into the alleyway behind so that they could head to Diagon Alley that Oliver started grinning.

Flourish & Blotts had not been the ideal place to shop before - not half because it only carried magical texts or pieces strictly aimed at the wizarding population in the past. Of course, knowing that, Oliver didn't expect Alice to be overly thrilled about the prospect of trying to find something halfway decent there. As hard as he tried to cover his excitement about stopping in, though, he found it utterly impossible.

As they made it past the Fortescue's parlour awning, a familiar face came into sight. Oliver wasn't sure if Alice had even seen the other man since he had returned, but Keiran stood outside, arms crossed in front of him as he considered whether or not he liked the window display. The sound of Oliver calling out to him drew Keiran's attention, however, and he turned towards them with a wide smile.

Things were going well, then. Oliver was glad.

Keiran reached out to greet Oliver with a hand on the shoulder before looking towards Alice and drawing her into a side hug. "C'mon, then. I've re-organized things," Keiran announced, stepping back to hold the door open for them.

Within the shop, Oliver could hear chattering from somewhere towards the back, and when his eyes lifted he caught sight of the sign that announced the children's area in that direction. Likely, he mused to himself, it was the mini!Hayeses running amok whilst their dad wasn't looking. He didn't expect to see a random fourth child come out from between the shelves, though, and it was not lost on him that this one was older than the others.

"Connolly!"

Oliver turned, only to find a friendly smile peeking over the top of a tall shelf. "Erik," he returned, grasping the identity of the young boy immediately. "What are you-?"

"Keiran's not worked up the courage to go get a new wand yet," Erik informed him, shooting a disapproving look in the Slytherin's direction. "I'm not sure he's accepted that his other one is gone."

"Have too," Keiran cut in almost childishly. Perhaps he had been spending too much time with his son. "There's just been too much to do around here."

"Yeah," Erik agreed. "And I've been doing the lot of it.

Oliver chuckled and shook his head, turning back to Alice. "What do you think?"

"Your guy chose well," Erik informed her, thinking himself quite helpful. Oliver really only got the feeling that Erik wanted to wiggle his way in, so he didn't offer any real reaction to the comment except in the widening of his smile as he directed it towards Alice.

One mocha (and a tiffin) later and the loved up pair were strolling through Diagon Alley down towards the bookshops. Alice adored Diagon Alley, although it would never match up to the wizarding quarter in Paris – at least in her mind, anyway. As they passed the Magical Menagerie, her mind turned to her nephews and she wondered if an owl for them would be enough to make up for missing their birthdays.

She’d missed Stéphanie’s birthday, too. Making it a round four birthdays she’d missed. It was beginning to grate on the family-orientated witch. With her father having returned to Avignon, too, she was further away from her family than ever. At least seeing him had made her feel closer. Now, she felt entirely out of step with them – as though she was on a different path altogether.

She pushed the thoughts away with a sip of her coffee, determined to enjoy the day. She would make time to go home soon, she promised herself. Merlin knew that if she and Ollie ever needed a break from life in Britain, heading south, into the arms of her slightly overbearing mother, was the best plan.

Plus, she was truly beginning to worry she was missing too much – that if she blinked they’d all be teenagers, at Beauxbatons, with no idea and no care for who she was.

Flourish and Blotts first, though.

Perhaps she’d send them some books.

They’d like that.

Finding Keiran stood outside the bookshop was, in truth, the last thing the witch had expected, however. She smiled brightly at him, returning the hug happily. She wondered absently when he’d started working at the shop – or purchased the shop, she supposed. Whatever it was he had done.

She took a moment to scrutinise the wizard as he spoke hers. He looked fine, all things considered. Refreshed, in a way. She was glad that he looked as good as she had been told he did. She was also glad that he had taken something mundane and simple on. No complications. No politics. Books were simple. He needed that.

Stepping inside was like peering into another world. Bookshops held wonder other places did not and could not come near. She, too, heard the voices towards the back but unlike her lover, Alice traipsed to find the source and those little, shrill voices all reached for her name when they saw who it was turning around the shelves.

Kelly beat the rest of them to it and Alice laughed, scooping the girl up with her spare arm and sitting her on her hip. She then sidled out, back towards the boys, handing her cup over to the little girl so that she could have a sip.

She came back to Ollie’s side and looked between the men curiously, it dawning on her all of a sudden what Erik was talking about.

“Wait… hang on…” a smile skirted across her features. “You haven’t bought this with Keiran, have you?”

Oliver Connolly, realistically, was a lucky man. More so than most men he knew of. Yes, he had been through a lot of really not great things, like losing his sister and his whole fiasco with Alice. But Thalia would have wanted him to be happy regardless, and he and Alice had worked out their problems as far as he knew. But he also had fantastic friends who had some accidentally, wonderfully helpful timing.

He thought this, of course, because when Alice came over holding a little blonde girl, his chest clenched for a moment. But then Keiran was there, grinning and ruffling Kelly's hair as he passed. Oliver released a silent breath through his nose and found a proper smile in return for her question.

"It's me, babe. Are you really surprised?" He replied, reaching out his free hand to tickle at Kelly's arm. She seemed thrilled to be receiving the attention of so many of the adults in the room, and Oliver had to laugh when Liam came around and pouted up at Alice.

She had found yet another admirer in Keiran's son. Oliver wasn't surprised.

He left her to it while he roamed through the shelves, looking at the set-up that Keiran had worked on. Millie probably had some input in all of this. But Oliver wasn't half organized enough to figure these things out himself. As he walked along the far left wall, he found himself near the front window when he discovered the New Releases section.

A pleased smirk pulled at his cheeks when he saw it, but he didn't want to make a fuss when the day was meant to be about Alice. He turned back around to check in on whatever Erik was up to - hanging a sign, it seemed. Why he wanted to do it without magic was beyond Oliver, but perhaps it felt more official that way.

When Kelly peeked around the corner, Oliver chuckled and followed her back out to the front of the shop and returned to Alice's side. He didn't quite know what to suggest, because he had only really thought out the afternoon. It wasn't like them to be out and about so early, really, so he wasn't sure that it was his fault.

"Did you need to pick anything up while we're out, Allie?"

While he made no attempt to rush her out of the shop, particularly because it was his own store, he was thrilled when she decided to continue on with their day. Merlin, he was impatient. As they left, Oliver held the door open and let Alice go first, glancing back at Keiran, who gave him a smirk and a thumbs up. Oliver shook his head, but grinned back as he walked out the door and waved to the twins.

As they went throughout their morning activities, he found himself in awe of her ability to package away the scary bits. The only bad side, he supposed, was that they continued to haunt her at night, when she could no longer actively push them away. He just wished that there was a way to make the nightmares stop, because clearly his presence wasn't enough anymore. It did give him a moment's pause, causing him to wonder again whether or not it was a good idea for him to ask her, to keep her. But he was selfish enough to push away that thought within moments.

By the time lunch rolled around, he had subtly directed them towards his father's office and the little restaurant they had gone to after reuniting in front of her desk. When they came across it, he grinned. "Lunch, Alice?" he asked, gesturing towards it as though he'd just thought of it.