We can be us just for one day

It was a little secret the ickles never seemed to pick up on. While they were all creeping through the Forbidden Forest, Clytemnestra found peace and quiet near the greenhouses. The stench of dragon dung was easily enough to drive away all but the most dedicated Herbology students.

Not that Clytemnestra was a keen herbologist. Oh, she liked the subject well enough to identify plants and herbs for potions. You couldn't be a real Slytherin without excelling in potions, it was a house reputation thing, and the only way you could excel in potions was by understanding the ingredients you put into them.

Clytemnestra smiled. If she was nastier, she might swap out someone's gurdyroot for ordinary onions next time they used it, just to see what happened.

Andrew had cut class. He didn't do it regularly, but, he was getting annoyed with a Hufflepuff that seemed to think that Care of Magical Creatures provided her with multiple keen opportunities to sidle up to him and pretend to be a shrinking violet when she thought the professor wasn't looking.

He had been good about it so far.  He hadn't done anything to call attention to her or to himself, but his patience was running out.  He had always liked animals, but magical ones were awesome.

At the last class, the Huffle had feigned all sorts of anxiety about what she thought the professor would produce at the next class and had wanted Andrew to promise he would go to class with her--just in case. So, of course, he had chosen, albeit passive aggressively, not to go.

Instead, he'd gone off to the greenhouse.  He wrinkled his nose at the obnoxious smell of the dragon poo.  Herbology always made him want to go back and shower before his next class, and he tried hard never to end up scheduled for herbology right after lunch.  

Nevertheless, he'd slipped inside and had looked for some harmless little weedy thing that looked like it needed her clingy attentions. He'd found a spriggle of a ferny thing that he didn't really care to identify. It wasn't more than a 3" start that had some sort of feathery little fronds.  That would give her something to fawn over for awhile.  He shoved the fern into a little pot with a handful or two of potting soil. Then, glancing around, he got saw some jars of seeds that made his hopefully harmless fern a whole lot more interesting.

He could barely control a mischevious little self satisfied smirk. A little jar of seeds clearly marked Honking Daffodils. Perfect.  Lovely flower, annoying as hell.  He opened the little jar, swiped three of the little seeds and poked them into the soil of the fern. When the daffodil matured enough, it would create utter havoc in the Hufflepuff house. He just needed to add a little water, and then all he had to do was wait.

Some things definitely were worth waiting for.  He was satisfied with himself.  If he were clever it would be easy enough to deliver his 'gift.'  He turned around and saw he wasn't alone.

Oh, buggar.

She was a Slytherin, and in his same year too. Lux. That was her name. He didn't figure he could spell her first name without practicing it. She was memorable, though, even if he hadn't actually met her. If she ratted him out, it wouldn't be the first time a Slytherin outted a Gryffindor.  Unless, of course, she hadn't seen him tinkering in the seed jars.  He could always hope that she was either not too observant or perhaps willing to turn a blind eye. Lux was far from stupid so he figured he'd better bet on the latter.

"Hi," he spoke to the Slytherin, making at least a half-assed attempt to be smooth about it.

If Clytemnestra had been all snuggled up near the back of the greenhouse with her book the way she'd intended, she might not even have noticed Diamond's entrance. He was pretty sneaky for a Gryffinflaw.  But she was only halfway down the aisle.  The only reason he didn't notice her was because he was so intent on whatever it was he was doing.

"Hi," she replied, a little breathlessly.  That had nothing to do with him, though.  It was always hot and humid in the greenhouses.  

"What'cha doin?"

She blinked slowly, and let a knowing smirk adorn her features.  It wasn't that Clytemnestra really cared what Andrew Diamond did.  And she certainly wasn't going to dob on him; she'd grown out of that after an unfortunate incident when she was seven.  Still, Clytemnestra had nothing else to do today and she felt that letting him think he was in the proverbial toilet would brighten her otherwise boring afternoon.

"Just a harmless plant for someone a little too lonely," Andrew said, shrugging. Well, part of that, he thought, was more than likely true. So far as he was concerned, Ida Jugson was probably the most desperate girl he'd ever seen. "Maybe she needs a plant or something. Some sort of a gift that keeps on giving."

The part of it that wasn't entirely true was that he didn't actually know if the ferny looking thing was harmless or not so much. For all he knew, the thing might be cannibalistic. The school staff probably was going to a bit unhappy if it ate all of Hufflepuff house.

A new thought occured to him. He had a visual popping up in his head of Ida looking like a mournful old cow while she waited on him during a class he wouldn't be showing up for. Even if the professor hadn't taken a head count, certainly, Andrew's absence would be magnified. Lying to Thorfinn would go over just about as successfully as a lead balloon.

"So," he asked rather slowly, feeling up to his eyeballs in alligators, "what brings you here?" He was hoping that if he could just be cool about it, surely it would work out, right?

Clytemnestra couldn't help laughing, but really, he should've expected it.

"You?"

It was not a question.

"Are you trying to tell me you have some kind of..."

She waved a hand in the air, as though it would help her catch the word she was looking for.

"Some kind of stalker?"

"That's ridiculous," she pronounced, without even waiting for him to answer.  "Merlin, you Gryffinflaws are conceited."

"Whoever it is probably just wanted..."

Again, Clytemnestra was lost for words.

"I dunno, to tell you that you have B.O. or something."

"Anyhow, what's that thing gonna do?  No 'gift that keeps on giving' ever gave anybody anything nice."

She conveniently ignored his question of why she was here.  It was none of his beeswax, anyway.

"I wouldn't be my choice either," he shrugged carelessly. "I didn't say she had good taste. She's just desperate. She's already trying to weasel a Valentine out of me, and its still January. "

Ida wasn't his type that was for sure. She seemed to be all about lace and fluffy foofoo bits sewn on her sweaters, her socks, her blouses. She was all fluff and drama, and far too much of both. He imagined that if she ever really had to deal with the little green North American tree frog (never mind how he got it) that he kept in his shirt pocket, she'd flip completely out.

"She ought to like this little business here," he pointed to the feathery fern. "I figure she'll keep it awhile--until the other plants grow up. There just might be a Honking Daffodil or three in there. Hopefully enough to annoy the bejesus out of her house for a bit. I can bide my time for a bit. Might even send her some plant potion for Valentine's Day to help it grow faster."

He was hoping that somehow this didn't all backfire on him somehow. The last thing he needed was some bloody howler from Kate to embarrass him a notch or two more. Detention? Acceptable. Howlers? Not so much.

Clytemnestra laughed again.  Diamond didn't seem to realise how deep he was putting himself in it, and she wondered whether she ought to tell him.

Well, if she didn't, she wouldn't get the satisfaction of being right.

"I don't think you understand the nuances of the female brain," she remarked.  "Or you wouldn't think that was such a good idea."

Despite having no idea who Andrew was talking about, Clytemnestra had a fairly good mental picture of the type of girl who was chasing him.  Overly romantic, idealistic, and, to be honest, probably not in love with the real Andrew Diamond.  In fact, Clytemnestra would be surprised if this girl had ever even held a conversation with the object of her affections.

"If you give her that thing, she's going to focus on the fact that you gave her a gift and convince herself it means you like her," Clytemnestra explained. "That it's a horrible gift will probably just be an annoying detail."

"Well, that's rather dense, isn't it?" Andrew frowned, hearing that Ida might think the plant meant he liked her. He sighed, perching himself on the edge of a worktable.

"Honestly, she's rather infatigable. Do you know a bunch of us were on our way to class last week. She 'just happens' to join us, and she sees a spider--just an ordinary spider, mind you--and she grabs onto my elbow and shrieks like she's seen a dementor, saying, 'Andrew, I think I'm going to faint. Yes, I'm going to faint.' I actually said, 'Go ahead, then. It's alright by me.' She thinks I've said to her, 'Run along ahead, then. It won't get by me.' Ugh." He shook his head. "Truly pathetic."

He looked at the plant. "I suppose I was counting on her liking the thing up til the point where it started that deafening honking." He hadn't thought of the fact that she might actually like it until Lux brought it up. "It's impossible to get rid of her, isn't it?"

Clytemnestra smiled and began toying with her hair. She didn't normally play with her hair, and rather despised the kind of girls who did, but she'd heard boys liked it.

"We-ell," she said, tilting her head slightly.

"Maybe not entirely impossible," she went on, "but you would need some help."

Clytemnestra didn't like Andrew all that much. She didn't hate him, either, he just didn't really stand out as someone particularly interesting either way. But she did like having people indebted to her, which is what he was about to end up being if her idea went down as it was supposed to.

"I mean, if you were off the market, so to speak, that would get rid of her, right?" she said.

He blinked. That was one option that had never entered his head. Truth be told, he'd never dated. Not that women had gone unnoticed. He had the same hormones as every other 16 year old male. Okay, but that was something he wasn't prepared to admit to. 16 and hadn't dated? Not once? Made him sound like a prude.

However, he didn't want people to know where he'd spent his time, though either. That wasn't really the sort of thing one wanted in the papers either. "Hello, my name is Andrew Diamond, and I steal things if you can meet my price. What's my hobby, you ask? Practicing."

That was the truth of it. He'd never done anything but look at girls. He noticed all the important assets, or what he thought were the important assets. Brains, curves,...wait, was there something else after the curves?

"Lordy," Andrew got a mischievous grin on his face. "that wouldn't just get rid of her. She'd need CPR." He paused, giving it just a half a moment of thought but the need to be rid of Ida was overwhelming. "I like it." Then he looked at her. "Just tell me you're not squeamish with reptiles and amphibians."