Under Pressure

That past two months Bertie had found almost his entire time spent in the four walls of the library. The library had always been a place of comfort for Bertie, a place to expand his knowledge and let his imagination flow, at least up until two months ago. The Ravenclaw had revised for past exams before but not to the extent he'd studied for his OWLs. Why? Because up until now he had only needed to know one years worth of work but now he had to know everything from the basic swish and flick of wingardium leviosa to the complex reactions between porcupine quills and essence of wormwood when added simultaneously to a cauldron.

Thankfully there wasn't many exams left to sit but that didn't mean any weight had left his shoulders. The two exams the Ravenclaw was really worried about were still yet to come: potions and transfiguration. He'd managed to conquer the practical side but it was his theory that was beginning to let him down. For two magical subjects it was surprising how science minded you needed to be and maths and science had never been Bertie's strong point at primary school and the stress was continuing to creep up.

After three solid hours or trying to wrap his head around the strengthening solution Bertie decided to take a break. Leaving his work on the desk the Ravenclaw left the library and found a stone seat in between two suits of armour on the third floor. Allowing a large sigh to escape him the boy let his head fall into his palms. Next year he would definitely be dropping both potions, sure Vivianna had helped him along but on his own he'd be hopeless.

Well, she had barely passed her Charms exam. The practical part of the exam had been a piece of cake, as she had always considered herself pretty good with charms. But the written part had, apparently, been written in ancient Greek. All of the information she had attempted to cram in her study-resistant brain had found a crack in her skull and trickled out, leaving her with some academic-type jargon that she had used to vaguely and indirectly answer the essay questions the best she could. Something in her told her that she had not flunked the exam, with the practical work really saving her, but there was just enough doubt to worry her.

On the flip side, she had surprisingly aced Divination. It had been a complete shock, as she had only expected to feel confident about Care of Magical Creatures and Herbology, and Divination had always been one of her worst subjects. But when the examiner had asked her what she had seen in the crystal ball and she had seen nothing, she glanced up at the balding woman and... just made something up. Honestly, it reflected a bit of one of Simon's stories he had told a few years ago, a favorite of hers about an old witch who moved to Australia and found herself in the midst of adventures, murder, mystery, and romance. Wendy had told it with zeal and the witch had been more than excited by the fortune.

She was feeling better, to say the least.

She decided to compliment her happy attitude with a visit to the house elves, who had shoved lemon-iced scones into her hands before the preparation for dinner began. Wendy wandered towards the library, supposing she would find one of her fellow OWL-ers madly studying, in need of a delicious, lemony treat. She walked slowly, enjoying the castle, her hat snugly resting over her short blonde hair, fringe cardigan ticking her legs, as she nibbled on one of the scones, licking her fingers as she went.

She was nearly at the library when she heard a heaving sigh. She spun about, still sucking lemon icing off of her fingers, when she spotted a familiar figure, crumpled against the wall. "Bertie!" she chirped, registering only a moment later that he didn't look to be in the best of moods. "You okay, mate?"

Two more minutes. That was what Bertie kept allowing himself for ten minutes as he sat and tried to empty his mind. It was proving difficult. The Ravenclaw, it appeared, was starting to reach the stage of over-studying where all the incantations and potion ingredients he'd been aiming to ingrain in his mind were tangled together. There were runic symbols floating across his eyes and the sound of Professor Binns' droning voice wandering in and out of his thoughts. If only there was a way to relax, escape the madness within and take a break... A break would do nicely. A break that lasted longer than 'two more minutes.' Bertie needed the evening off, the day off, the week off.

I'm definitely not studying this many subjects next year. The Ravenclaw thought to himself as his fingers ran back through his head and his eyes shut tight in an attempt to rid his disjointed thoughts that had now moved onto divinations even though he'd already sat the exam.

His eyes opened. Wendy Fudge was standing over him, her tongue licking away what looked like some sort of icing. Gosh, what Bertie would do now for something sweet. Not that he was hungry but a sugar rush might help kickstart his mind - and it would serve as a tasty method of procrastination.

'Hi, Wendy.' He replied, a tiresome smile forming on his face as he shrugged his shoulders. 'Exam stress. If I read one more sentence about strengthening solutions I think I'm going to crack.'

'I'm just getting some air.' He told the Hufflepuff before shuffling along the stone bench. 'Do you want to sit down?'

Bertie greeted her, the weariness in his voice weighing him down as he attempted a smile. He explained the reason for his lethargy and she found herself perking up a bit - not because he seemed so exhausted. No, that didn't make her happy. Wendy had a naturally nurturing sort of spirit, and she always tried to leave people better off than she found them. And it was for that reason that she was happy. She had brought the tools along to help someone in need, and Bertie was exactly the sort of person in need of a pick me up.

And she was just the sort of person to give a pick me up! Of course, exams had exhausted her too, but she also knew she wasn't a natural born student. Sitting in a stuffy room, learning about dead guys and the boring laws they passed just wasn't interesting to her. Even spellwork got boring. Looking at the Great Lake - she could do that all day. Wrangling creatures - please, please, please. But all of this studying, and writing, and cramming, and testing... no, it really wasn't her thing. So while the worries rolled off her back like water off a duck, she thought she could be of service to her peers.

He suggested she join him and she nodded, settling next to him. She brushed her hand off on her shorts and then shuffled her napkin full of scones to withdraw one, holding it out to him. "Here - you need this. It's brain food."

It was strange. Wendy was giving off an aura that Bertie hadn't experienced in quite a while. Every student the Ravenclaw had spoken to was panicked about one thing or another, whether it be they didnt know if they'd revised too much or that their shoe laces kept coming undone. Of course the latter was really exam stressed channeled in a different way. Wendy was refreshing. Soothing to a stressed soul.

'Are you sure?' Bertie hesitated before accepting the treat that she offered. 'Thank you.' He added before taking a bite. It was wonderful. The ravenclaw wasn't exactly hungry but the sweet taste distracted him from any negative thoughts had been clouding his senses. A weight had been lifted from his shoulders and it made Bertie see some beauty in the world, beauty that had too been clouded by examination negativity. There were so many wonderful things in the world, more wonderful than magic and it was hard to appreciate them when you're trying to memorise the science behind blending pufferfish eyes and armodillo bile.

'This is really good, Wendy.' Bertie told her with a smile. Taking a final swallow the Ravenclaw continued: 'It's weird, but, you don't seem stressed out. Everyone I met seems to be freaking out. One guy in my dormitory has even been waking us all up in the middle of the night because he's been having nightmares!'

Bertie asked if she certainly wanted to share her treats and she bobbed her head, smiling widely. "Totally!" Wendy handed him the scone and he thanked her. "You're welcome!" she chirped back to him. She watched him take a bite, and she could tell that he enjoyed them. He commented on it and she smiled, nodding. "Aren't they heavenly? They're some of my favorite pastries. I wish I could say they were my recipe, but these are courtesy of the Hogwarts house elves." She took a bite of her own scone, shivering her shoulders as though the baked goods were too good to avoid such a reaction.

He commented on her aura of calm and she turned to look at him, chewing her scone down like a chipmunk with its cheeks full. She swallowed and considered his observation. He really was right in that she should have had some more visible agitation or frustrating regarding OWLs. There was the potential for the scores to change one's life course. And, here she was - scarfing scones and smiling peacefully.

She thought it over before saying, "What's done is done, you know? I was a mess last week, but there gets to a point where cramming just turns your brain to jelly. I'm as prepared as I can be, so whatever will be, will be. All that que sera, stuff."

Bertied nodded with a smile. He noticed the familiar texture of the House Elves signature scones for he'd enjoyed them many of times after an evening meal in The Great Hall. Whether he'd enjoyed them this much before was another think, either there was a new ingredient to give the signature scones a boost or exam stress really was being to mount up so high a simple scone seemed the holy grail of foods.

'I wish I could think like that.' Bertie replied. 'I'd much rather be writing a novel, getting lost in my imagination, admiring the world but I can't.'

He sighed.

'I can't switch off. I was always raised to do well at school, work hard and, well, study until my wrists fell off. It's just getting a bit too much. I'd take the rest of the day off but I know I'd only feel guilty and, if I'm honest, everyone in Ravenclaw is so competitive against each other. Whenever someone enters the common room in the evening everyone just talks about how much revision they've done that day, what topics they've revised. They'd all be horrified if they found out I'd written the day off and I don't want the attention.'

Bertie giggled silently in his head after hearing the words escape his lips. It must sound so bizarre to the Hufflepuff. It was peculiar how different each house was. In Slytherin people were praised and gained attention if they did something cunning, a perfect act of revenge (according to Vivianna anyway) whereas in Ravenclaw if you didn't do revision that day it was not just newsworthy but front-page-newsworthy.

'I could lie I suppose...' Bertie contemplated. 'But then it's not as though I'm doing anything else, I'd just find myself being swallowed by guilt.'

Wendy ate silently alongside of Bertie, listening to him spill his heart about his exam woes. She heard the story in the Hufflepuff common room. Unlike the Ravenclaw common room, the rooms next the kitchen were full of insecurity and attempts to draw each other into better spirits. The few people who dared turning exams into a competition usually did so jokingly. A poor badger would come in looking miserable and were immediately stuffed full of treats and praise. Wendy was pretty much on the welcoming committee for downtrodden spirits.

That was what they needed. Baked goods and hugs for everyone after every exam.

“I suppose you’ve been programmed to think that way,” Wendy said. “But I hear it and think the way to beat that competition is to be the Ravenclaw who comes in with their sanity. The one without insomnia and anorexia from study stress. How cool would it be to say you only studied two hours and feel confident? I mean, you can only cram so much before you’re just taxing your brain, right? I don’t know if that’s true, but it sure sounds accurate.”

That was all that really mattered to her. If it sounded right.

“I mean… what do you want to do with your life? You want to write? What OWLs are required to write a book?”

Wendy was right. Bertie had been programmed to think that way and because of that if he were to step a foot out of line then it felt as though the entire sequences of his life wouldn't pan out in the way they should. If he didn't study then he wouldn't get good grades, sure he'd pass, but how good of a pass he'd get would be another question. And despite Wendy's attempt to comfort Bertie by saying how he didn't need OWLs to become a writer she just didn't know OWLs from his perspective.

'I know I don't need OWLs to become a writer but.' Bertie sighed. 'I have so many expectations to fill. My Mum wants me to do well for starters as she never did well herself. She wants me to get a good job, she doesn't mind what but I feel as though she wants me to compete with my cousins. One of which is a healer, the other with some hot shot job in the Ministry.'

It was rare that Bertie talked about his personal life. Usually any conversation he had with someone was light, unimportant conversation or conversation about work. There were only two other people who had heard Bertie get even remotely deep: Vivianna Varnes and Erika Dixon and now, for some reason, the Ravenclaw found himself pouring his biography out to Wendy Fudge.

'My Mum's one of six and she's a squib so you can imagine how she gets looked down upon by a family of Ravenclaw's and, because of that, I feel like my entire family look down on me too. They were all surprised that I was magical myself given the fact that my Dad was a muggle too.'

Not that his Father had passed away or acquired magic himself but he'd left Bertie and his Mother when relatives on his side of the family were spooked by his sons display of magic. Bringing flowers back to life and making the piano play by itself isn't something a normal child can usually do.

'I just feel as though I need to do well. I wont be able to top what my cousins and aunties and uncles do but I think the best I can do is match them. Show that they aren't any better than me and then, maybe, they'll judge my Mum a little less.'

Bertie paused. The fifteen year olds cheeks flushed a violent shade of pink, his teeth sunk into his top lip and he stared Wendy worriedly in his eyes.

'Sorry. I didn't mean to tell you all that, it's just exams, the pressue's getting to me a bit and... Please don't tell anyone. I wouldn't want anyone else judging me or where I come from. I got enough of that when I first came to Hogwarts.'

It wasn't information everybody knew. Of course the topic of conversation had came up during the welcome feast in Bertie's first year when people were talking about their parentage. His statement had made a few heads turned, some seemed confused how the sorting hat could put him into ravenclaw, others were more in awe but their impressed minds soon vanished two weeks into the term when they realised there was really nothing special about Bertie being a squib, it was just the same as being muggle born in their terms and muggle borns had been sorted into Ravenclaw for centuries.

Wow. And with that, Bertie was off, spilling his problems and concerns and worries as though they flowed freely from brain to tongue. Wendy frowned a bit. She was a near stranger to him, nothing more than a classmate - so if all of this needed to be said, it wasn't because he wanted to tell her, it was because he needed to tell someone.Iit was because he had not told someone. Bertie Nogard didn't have anyone to talk to. Not really. Not properly. Not about fears for the future and familial pressures.

Poor chap.

He apologized and she shook her head. "Don't - what could I get from tattling on you." She smiled. "Besides, between you and me, I think your story makes you all the more remarkable." She gave him a bracing smile, before holding out another pastry for him.

"I think," she said, chewing on her lip as she thought. The thought settled upon, she nodded decisively, turning to look at him with a bright expression. "I think you need a vacation. Travel outside of your own head. This summer, you're going to go backpacking with me."