Somewhere Between Reality and Pretend

Mairen was having what you might call a tough week. She had started to show, and it was making her time at work a bit of a mess. She was fairly new, Scorpius had been missing, and nobody would listen to her when she tried to explain that she was not, in fact, okay with sharing an office with him. She wouldn’t have minded sharing with somebody else, even if it meant he got his own room. But, of course, luck was not on her side in this. Instead, she had to force herself to go to work, and then found herself counting down the hours, the seconds, the moments until she could go back home. It really did feel like home, now, and she was exceptionally pleased to note that as she picked up her purse and left the office.

Theodore, though she hadn’t asked for it and though she didn’t completely understand why he did it, was around the Ministry more often than not those days. So she stepped into the lift so that she could make her way to the café to meet Theo and Esme for lunch. It made more sense than trying to eat in their shared office after having seen how very much the two men disliked each other now. That, she supposed, was probably her fault mostly. But it didn’t make things any easier for anyone.

Even leaving the house to go to work made her uncomfortable, if only because she sometimes got the feeling that it made Theodore unhappy. She might have imagined it - she had never asked, of course - but it just made her feel all the more strange about her career choice. She could well have found a separate firm by now, and that wasn’t lost on her. But she had a streak of pride within her that would allow her to be the one who left. She loved working there and she wouldn’t be intimidated into leaving.

Mai glanced down at her middle, slightly disappointed to remember that she had been forced to buy something that fit her more properly. She certainly hadn’t planned for something like this to happen to her so early in life, but there was no getting around it now. She reached down and spun the ring on her finger, still unsure what to call it. She didn’t have vocabulary for what it truly meant. It was something between a promise and an engagement, but neither of those words were right. The Something Ring, then, was an item she was both terrified of losing as well as one she felt slightly wary of. If people asked, she didn’t know what to say it was. Everyone assumed it was a sure sign of engagement, but nothing felt certain about it.

Sure, she was pretty confident that Theodore was going to be there for her. But she wasn’t at all prepared for what might happen if things went wrong between them. She didn’t want to lose either of the Rookwoods she lived with, but also couldn’t quite manage to say that she loved Theodore. It was hard when her past fiancé was sitting across a desk from her five days a week.

A heavy sigh escaped, just as the doors to the lift opened. Mai released the ring, noting again how absurd it was that he bought her something so expensive without any real request. Theodore hadn’t made a lot of sense after they first found out, but things were getting a little more comfortable as they got used to the idea. So it was towards the café that she headed, reaching down to hold her purse against her side as she walked.

Earlier that morning a squib had come across their uncle petrified on his kitchen floor, the tap left running and water splashing into the puddle where he lay. Hallie had arrived early to work that day in hope that she could finish early and start hunting down photographs and letters. She was hoping to make a scrapbook and give it to her Father so that he could catch up on her growing up. However arriving early proved to have been a rather large mistake for it mean't Hallie had been lumbered with the case of the petrified uncle.

There were multiple explanations for his becoming petrified. For a start it could have been that he magic was playing up, he tried something simple and it went disastrously wrong. Maybe the nephew had somehow acquired magic and he had unknowingly induced his uncle into a petrified state or it could have been the work of a dark wizard. Did the uncle have any enemies? Did he know too much information? What was his allegiance?

That morning after visiting the scene, then heading to St Mungo's to try and gain any information there Hallie had spent her time writing up a report of her initial investigation. So far there wasn't much in the file apart from the nephews recount, his medical condition and assumptions as to how he'd arrived into his petrified state. One nurse, very ditsy, suggested it could have been a basalisk, claimed a load of students had been petrified when one was slithering around Hogwarts whilst she had been a student. Hallie had politely brushed this suggestions away with a smile. Now the smile had gone from her face and all the blonde had on her mind was food.

Entering the cafe, without glancing around to see if there were any familiar faces she could join, the auror headed straight to the deli counter and began to order her sandwich: cucumber, lettuce, bacon, tomatoes with a light sprinkle of grated cheese.

Theodore had abandoned Hogwarts mid-morning, delegating to a bored-looking Hayes who he’d caught walking her hound out in the grounds. He’d hauled his cousin’s blonde back inside and had set her down in his chair with whatever pregnancy led her to have a whim for and the dog lounging in the sunshine. He’d even brought her children to her to play on the rug by the fireplace which hadn’t been lit since the new spring weather had dawned with the snowbells and daffodils. He’d instructed her in rudimentary skills she needed to do his work, though he had a feeling Keiran would come in to find his wife building block towers with their children, long having grown bored of the Headmaster’s paperwork.

Delegation had allowed him to get away earlier than usual and he was more than willing to capitalise on that. Theodore headed straight home and changed out of his robes into a pair of jeans which were specked with paint but had rapidly become his favourites and a pale blue shirt which he quickly buttoned up before hurrying back downstairs to pull on some trainers and relieve his sister of her babysitting duties. Esme was overjoyed when she caught sight of her father coming into the living room and hopped up from the game she was playing with Adriana to greet his with cuddles, a kiss and a rundown of their day thus far.

Adriana had been glad to go home but promised to be back the following morning. After zipping up Esme into her coat and grabbing a jacket from under the stairs, Theodore sat his daughter on the bottom step and laced up her shoes. Then, Theodore grabbed his bag and left the house, locking up before apparating into London properly at a point where it was only a short walk to the café where he and Mai liked to haunt a particular table at lunchtimes. He was early when he arrived and after being left to make his way to their regular table, Theodore sat down with Esme in his lap and began to read with her, unable to keep from smiling.

When Mai got there, Theodore had already ordered drinks. He looked up, coincidentally, when she approached the table and his face lit up at the sight of her. Esme, sensing a change in her father and his pause in reading, glanced up as well and she bounced, making Theodore wince a little, extending her hands to Mai. Theodore chuckled and shook his head, closing his book and sitting it down on the table as Esme wriggled from his arms and into Mai’s.

“Hello beautiful,” he greeted her with twinkling, mirthful eyes. “How’s your day been, so far?”

It hadn’t been that long, really, since Theodore had kissed her – and their bump – goodbye that morning. Despite himself he’d missed her and he didn’t care how ridiculous it made him feel. He was elated to have her near once more – though not nearly as excited as Esme was, it seemed, who was running off how her day had gone, interspersed-ly inquiring how Mai’s was, also. Theodore couldn’t help but smirk at the pair of them and eventually he liberated their chatterbox from Mai’s arms, plopping her down between them and instructing her to hush and breath. Esme only laughed at him but dutifully took her milkshake when Theodore offered it to her.

“I’ve been trying this delegating thing …” Theodore hedged, considering what he wanted to say. “I wondered if maybe we could take advantage when the weather’s a bit warmer and have a long weekend somewhere the four of us.”

“Daddy, do bumps like holidays?” Esme asked tartly, looking up at him inquisitively.

“I don’t know, little love,” he murmured, smiling at her. “But I expect mummies do and I reckon Mai’s earned it, don’t you? And me.”

“Mu- Mai more,” Esme replied. Theodore’s stomach did flip-flops and he glanced up at Mai before leaning over to kiss her. “Daddy,” Esme whined. “You’re crushing me!”

Mairen bit her lip to contain her smile when he looked up at her, feeling oddly like a teenager given the circumstances. She walked over and sank onto the booth seat next to him. A light-hearted little laugh escaped her before she pressed a kiss into Esme's hair. Just seeing them made her feel less anxious about whether or not she was in the right place. The Ministry's cafe, though not the part of the building she had trouble with, had become something of a habit for them. It felt right somehow, despite the fact that she knew it wasn't at all normal.

"I'd be lying if I said it had been brilliant," she admitted, passing Theodore a pointed look. He had certainly heard a good few times about how her days seemed longer now. But breaking up that day with a visit from the pair of them certainly helped. "Better now," Mai added with a shy smile.

A confused expression took her for a moment when he spoke of their being four of them already, but she felt silly for still being surprised. "I think I could manage getting time off," she nodded.

Mai's lips parted in surprise as she caught Esme's near slip of the tongue, and her gaze jumped to Theodore's. A flicker of concern lingered on her features, but it was chased away by Theo's kiss.

Esme's little squeak made Mairen pull back and reach for the brunette's cheek. "Poor darling. Give your daddy a serious talking to while I grab us some lunch, hmm?" She smirked a bit at Theodore before drawing her wallet out and walking up to the line.

A blonde stood to her left, and suddenly Mairen realized how public the area was compared to how they had been acting. Displays like that had never truly been her cup of tea, and worse yet, they had done so in front of Hallie. Her cheeks burned as she stepped along, coming up beside the other woman, and she just hoped that Hallie wouldn't be upset with her for it. She didn't know the Auror too well, but the last thing she needed was another person at the Ministry feeling against her.

After being handed her sandwich and choosing a slice of strawberry cheesecake Hallie handed over the three galleons and two sickles and made her way to a table, however just as she sat down the bonde realised that something was missing: a drink. Usually Hallie ate her food then took a drink but right now the last thing Hallie wanted to do was wait. She hadn't had a drink all morning and was starting to get a headache. Whether the headache was a cause of her workload or the fact she was feeling dehydrated remained unknowns, either way Hallie was thirsty and wanted a drink to ease her pain.

Walking across to cafe to the counter, however, the blonde froze in her tracks. The sound of a high pitched voice buzzed through her ears. It was a voice that Hallie had heard before, one that she had initially disliked the idea of but her pregnant broodiness had overpowered the dislike and longed to hear the voice. Turning around she spotted where the voice had come from: A table two down from hers.

A lump suddenly rose in her throat and a churning of her stomach didn't start to ease her headache. Her Motherly instincts had been right. Esme was sitting across the cafe on Theodore Rookwood's lap. Only a week ago had she'd been reunited with a man that had been absent from her life and now here she was faced with another man she loved had loved.

Something inside Hallie was starting to take over. An adrenaline rush that she hadn't had in so long, an urge to go over and speak to him, ask him how he was doing. The truth was that Hallie missed Theodore. As often as they argued and as intense the magnitude was of their disputes she missed those sharp cheekbones, the taste of his lips, his morning breath, the way he'd inhale his cigarettes, that warm feeling she'd felt every time he'd pulled her into his body. It was an unconditional love that Hallie couldn't describe. He'd been a big part of her life: He'd seen her through her auror training, rescued her from the hands of Henry Yewbeam, defended her in front of his family, they'd even conceived a child together. No amount of time apart could take away the memories that Hallie had of her husband. She was emotionally bound to him for life and-

Something heavy like a lead pipe, no, a cannonball sunk from her stomach to the floor anchoring her heart down as well. The momentary trance Hallie had been absorbed in at the sight of her ex-husband had shattered into smithereens. Hallie knew that this moment would come one day when Theodore would move on but so soon? Without a warning?

There was a woman sitting across from Theodore that only until he'd learnt in to kiss her has Hallie registered. The way he had kissed her was with the same caring, protective nature that Theodore had exerted onto Hallie. It was almost like looking into a mirror apart from instead of a blonde auror there was Mairen Tierney from the lawyers office.

Perhaps if Hallie had seen this a month ago then she wouldn't have cared, the blonde would have simply shaken it off and carried on to buy her drink but since discovering her Father was alive Hallie had contemplated repairing any lost ties she had with people, one person she'd had in mind in particular had been Theodore. The auror had wondered, fantasied about picking up where they'd left off but clearly it was simply that: A fantasy. Her and Theodore had shot each other too much and no amount of band aids were going to fix the bullet holes in their chests.

She looked down at the ground, her head pounding even more than it had been two minutes ago. The cafe seemed to be spinning but that was probably the nausea, the realization that not every relationship in her life could be fixed. The high from seeing her Father was slowly causing her to plummet and the fainting violet inside of her was trying to fight it's way to center stage.

I need a drink. Hallie thought to herself, running a hand across her forehead and across her eye. Not noticing that Mairen herself had decided to go to the lunch line Hallie, lost in her barbed wire thoughts, suddenly found herself besides the woman who'd been kissing her husband.

For a moment Hallie thought she was starting to go crazy believing already she was seeing the lawyer everywhere but a glance back to Esme and Theodore calmed her. She wasn't going crazy. At least not yet anyway. Hallie could feel the tension running through every cell in her body. She wanted to talk to Mairen and find out how long her and Theodore had been an item. Find out how he was doing. Find out if what she saw had even been romantic or something friendly. No. What Hallie had seen was definitely not friendly. It was family. Theodore had found himself a little family of his own meanwhile Hallie was shaking in the lunch queue.

'Hello.' Hallie called out uncontrollably tapping Mairen on the shoulder.


Hallie what are you doing? Shut up. Shut up right now you don't even know her!

'Lovely day isn't it.'

Lovely day? We're underground in the ministry of magic where there isn't any fresh air how on earth is this a lovely day?

'I bet you've been busy too haven't you? We have in the auror office.'

Okay now you're just sounding crazy with the disjointed sentences.

'I saw you with Theodore.[/i]

She blurted out, her face rushing a ruby red and her eyes widening in horror at the fact her temptations had taken over. Right now Hallie would have done anything to have been dropped into The Black Lake with a heavy weight attached to her ankle.

(ooc: I'm switching with Eli so she'll go after me this time So she'll have more to reply to. I didn't give her much. XD )

Mairen wasn't at all sure what to do with herself. She didn't know what all had gone on between Hallie and Theodore, only that they had apparently hurt each other enough that they had no choice but to split up. And she wasn't exactly interested in asking Theo what had happened. That was like stepping over an invisible boundary. Like asking the person you loved who else they had loved before you just to torture yourself over if you were good enough or not. She wanted no part of that. She may have been in Gryffindor, but she didn't want that pain.

It was just as she realized how unintelligent she had been for coming to pick up their food on her own that Hallie tapped her on the shoulder. Deciding for herself that the pregnant woman should carry food and drinks for the three of them had not been her best plan, and now she was stuck staring at the trays. That is, of course, until she had to look up and at least try to appear friendly towards Hallie.

"Hi," she offered quietly, forcing herself not to glance back towards Theodore and Esme. "Um, I suppose so. I haven't been out since this morning, but it seemed rather nice when I was on my way in."

She paused to consider Hallie's next question, only to be interrupted by her next comment. Mai sucked in a breath, panic flashing through her. "Well," she started, tripping over her words. She reached for the ring again without thinking, spinning it around and around. "Um, see... I've been living with him since I lost my place," she explained. It wasn't the entire truth, but she did give the gist of it. And it wasn't as though she had moved in with him specifically because of the obvious changes in her life as of late.

Mai's eyes flew towards Theodore's, panic drawing her eyebrows together when she thought Hallie wouldn't catch it. Merlin help her, but she had no idea what to do with herself.

In hindsight, Theodore should have done the gentlemanly thing and gone up to get food for them. In truth, he’d not thought about it and would have flagged down a waiter. Initially he’d wanted to take to Mai – not about anything in particular but just to absorb properly how her day had been – but when she’d elected to go he’d not objected and for a few moments took up conversation with Esme who was querying where chocolate milk came from – and Theodore really was doing his upmost to not tell her it was from a chocolate cow. Promise, he really was.

When he looked up momentarily from explaining the process of making chocolate milk while Esme stirred bubbles into her drink, his gaze met Mai’s and he paused, his words dying in the back of his mouth. He brought his lips together and raised an eyebrow. As he read the panic on her face, his stomach gave a little lurch and as he rose from the booth, scooping up Esme with him, his eyes found exactly who it was that was giving Mai such pause. She would’ve done the same for Theodore too had it not been smothered by irritation.

He left his bag and their coats in the booth as evidence people were still sitting there and hadn’t walked out on the bill. Bracing Esme on his hip, he weaved through the tables and joined the queue, sliding his other arm around Mai’s waist as he reached her. He almost felt cruel for the act – but then his brain conjured up the courtroom and the sneering faces of the Marriage Law commissioners as they looked over the case and decided that extenuating circumstances were the only ones barring him from Azkaban. She’d done that. Who knew a divorce would be that much bother?

“Hallie,” he greeted her with stiff formality, his arm tightening slightly around Mai. Had Hallie been any man, or, Merlin forbid, worst of all his brother, it would have been a gesture which screamed back off. In this case, it was more about the dynamics between the couple; it was about Theodore and the way he felt in that moment about Mairen. Faced with one chapter of his life he’d firmly squashed closed, he was hanging onto the new one for fear he was going to have it all pulled out from beneath him. He didn’t want to be dragged back into that mess. He was a ship in stormy waters there and here, in his arms, were his anchors. He was keeping them. That was what it was about.

“I hope you’re well,” he offered curtly, his jaw tightening. Well. It sounded as insincere aloud as it did amidst the caustic sarcasm in his head. Well. It didn’t even bear asking about. Was she well? Was he well? Now he was looking at her again he wasn’t sure. He didn’t think he could even see the woman. He didn’t think he could see his former wife. He didn’t think he could see anything of the person he’d loved. He had one vision in his head – one that no whisky could rid him of. He didn’t know how his father lived with himself – or his grandfather. His great-grandfather. He had no idea how they could bury children.

They’d been so brusque, too. It was the first time he’d gone home, properly, in years. It was the first time in a decade or more he’d cried at his mother’s feet, burying his head into her lap as his hands gripped onto hers, seizing her fingers and nearly bending them, prying them from her skin. He had no idea how many times he’d said the word mine. My. My baby. Lost. Gone. Gone forever. At her feet he’d tormented himself, running off what could’ve been in broken English that was slipping into nonsense language as he hiccupped his way through his words. His father had poured another glass of whisky. Eight fingers. You’ll need it, boy. he’d said. It was the only affection he’d ever known from his father.

How he’d learned to breathe again, Theodore didn’t think he’d ever know. He replaced the hurt with anger. He’d swallowed it up. He’d spat it out again. He’d scrubbed away at every last bit of himself. He’d pulled down wallpaper, smashed furniture, destroyed everything that could have been – should have been. He started again. He replayed his life again, like a video game. He had been determined to restart. He’d picked up his feud again with his father. He’d gone to vindictive war with the marriage law commissioners. He’d found purpose in his daughter and in his work. And in an office where a harried-looking redhead was stood amongst boxes of her things, he’d found something else entirely.

He’d had a go of it again. Of life. Of love. Of family. He’d fashioned himself a second chance. He wondered—

“Daddy,” Esme’s hand pulled at his shirt and she pointed to the queue which had shuffled forward. “I’m hungry,” she implored with him, pulling him from his thoughts.

“You’re always hungry,” Theodore replied, finding a smile for his daughter who pouted her lips at him. His lips came together into a smirk and she reached to bop him on the nose. Theodore chuckled and crossed his eyes, eliciting a delighted shriek from her as she tried to copy him. “You’ve got it,” he encouraged her, taking a step back, guiding Mai with him so that they filled in the gap in the queue.

“Muummmy,” Esme tested out the new name for Mai and Theodore, despite himself raised a brow. She looked at him curiously, trying to gage whether he approved or disapproved. Theodore smiled at her and Esme’s face lit up before extending her arms to Mai to swap embraces.

“You’re such a bloody pain,” Theodore complained of her as she pulled on his arms in her attempt to get out of his arms.

Esme curled her arms around Mai’s neck and looked at Theodore stonily, glaring at him briefly before shooting out a hand. Theodore sighed and reached into his jeans for a galleon. He held it up to her and handed it over. Esme thanked him with a cheeky smile and handed the coin over to Mai.

“Stop swearing,” she instructed her father firmly.

“But at least at this rate you’ll get your kitten, eh?” Theodore offered, smirking at her.

“Daddy’s silly,” she told Mai – and for that matter Hallie, whom Esme glanced over at and paused upon, as though not entirely sure who she was.

How times had changed.

Thankfully Mairen replied, greeted her somewhat apprehensively and Hallie was having half a mind to apologise and rush out of the cafe leaving her food at the table and hiding in the toilets yet she stood her ground. There was no use running, she'd already made a fool of herself and the last thing she was going to do was cower away from that. Theodore would find out that Hallie had asked about them whether she ran away or not.

Mairen, however, never replied. The blonde noticed a panicked glance towards who she could only guess was Theodore and his arrival soon confirmed this. It was in this moment Hallie realised how territorial she had gotten, she'd clearly made Mairen feel uncomfortable. The auror really was playing the part of the ex-wife well wasn't she. Installing fear in the current woman of her ex-husband.

The blue eyes fell upon Theodore's arm press nearly around Mairen, an action ingrained into the Rookwood's muscle memory. The Christmas Hallie had been introduced to the rest of the Rookwood's Theodore had pulled her in, shielded her, passed comfort onto her when she'd entered the Rookwood library and met his Father and Grandfather. Hallie had felt exactly how Mairen must be feeling. Nervous. Cautious. Uncertain perhaps? The feelings he'd held for Hallie he now held for Mairen and...

It was only when Esme spoke did Hallie realise that she hadn't said anything. The blonde had heard his voice, that relatively low voice that she'd felt behind her ears every morning. A voice she'd heard laugh, compliment, complain, shout, sob. It was surprising how much emotion you can associate with someone's voice and hearing Theodore's voice for the first time since, well, it had dragged the auror into a woods where she felt exposed amongst the clearings yet lost within the fog.

Theodore began to engage in conversation with Esme, pulling silly faces. His eyes were exactly how she remembered. You could tell he's been sheltered, made to think he should be closed off yet life was eager to burst through the iris and be happy. The way they absorbed Esme's actions, her dimples, her innocent face, her cheeky personality was painful. They'd both lost upon coming out of their relationship yet he still got to feel that feeling only a parent can feel. Hallie had never experienced that and-

Mummy. If Hallie felt that her heart had been anchored to the ground she'd been mistaken. Her blue eyes flickered towards Mairen. This woman, who Hallie only knew as a lawyer for the Ministry, had stepped into the role Hallie was mean't to be. Rationally the auror knew it wasn't intentional, that Mairen hadn't set out to personally offend Hallie but the blonde was never a rational person, especially when her emotions were taking control.

She took a step back. The image was beautiful, cute to an outsider. There Theodore was with one arm around his lady whilst their child rested playfully in the other, the girls arms reaching for the Mothers neck. They really were the complete family unit and as beautiful and wonderful that the love between them was it was silently destroying Hallie. Hallie had intended to live the rest of her life with Theodore, for the rest of eternity they were meant to be together. It should be Hallie who Esme was reaching for. It should be Hallie who had Theodore's arm around her. It should be Hallie who was raising a family but it wasn't.

Then, Esme spoke to her, her eyes curious as though they recognised Hallie but had no idea who she was.

'He is a bit silly isn't he.' Hallie replied animatedly forcing a smile and putting on her armour. 'Does he falls asleep in the rocking chair and snore really loudly?' She asked playfully thinking back to the time when she'd arrived home from work to find Esme playing on the floor and Theo conked out once entertaining his daughter had taken its toll.

Hallie wasn't too sure why she was responding to Esme, maybe to distract her and dilute the shock of seeing Theodore or maybe to make up for how Hallie had ignored her in the past. She remembered when Theodore had introduced Esme to her the day Cris had handed her daughter to Theodore for him to raise. Initially Hallie hadn't taken it well and for that she felt guilty. Esme had been the victim and instead the auror had placed herself in those shoes instead of being the grown up, the Mother.

Her blue eyes flicked up to Theodore's the look of excitement painted across them as she continued her act with Esme. No. Act wasn't the right word. Seeing the innocence Esme held was refreshing, it made all the evils of the world disappear and in a weird sort of way Hallie was happy to see the little girl and that probably showed.

'I'm sorry for ambushing you like that.' Hallie apologised, a smile still pressed on her face. 'I don't know what came over me.'

Hallie understand why she was being pleasant to Esme but addressing Mairen so friendly was definitely an act. Not that she disliked the woman or wanted to rip her head off but inside there pain. Hallie was crushed yet, for once, the auror didn't want to show her true emotions. Of course the blonde would have liked to talk to Mairen in private, what she'd say she didn't know but with Theodore watching Hallie felt pressured to act cool, breezy and as though she too had the perfect life her ex husband had.

The redhead's spine straightened as Theodore approached, and she felt his presence before he actually touched her. There was something uncomfortable about the whole thing - which, really, was a rather stupid observation for a lawyer of all people. But it came to mind and she couldn't get rid of it. Theodore pulled her closer, but Mairen had the immediate urge to move away - particularly when he said Hallie's name. She realized, belatedly, that it felt an awful lot like shoving their new... whatever it was in the blonde woman's face. Perhaps she shouldn't have looked at Theodore at all. But would he not have come over to check regardless? She wasn't sure.

That said, she didn't truly know all of the parts of Theodore yet, where Hallie more than likely did. Mairen hadn't even so much as asked after what his relationship with her was like. She couldn't have known of their loss - the most important one - or how they had grieved over the loss of each other. That last bit was inevitable, and she registered it somewhere in the back of her mind, but she didn't really want to imagine either of them in that pain. To be honest, she was more concerned about Theodore simply for knowing him better, but she had gone through something dreadful with Scorpius and most everyone knew about it by now. She didn't like the idea of Hallie feeling anything even close to the distress she had felt.

It wasn't even that she and Scorpius had chosen to break off the engagement. Those words had never come out of her mouth. But she didn't have the Malfoy's ring, she had something that came from a Rookwood and although it was the same item in shape, it was so much more confusing. The problem, and the thing that kept her from just telling Theodore how she felt or what she wanted, was that Scorpius had just up and disappeared on her. She had lost her voice, so he had called off the engagement. Not - what, a month? - later, he had gone for more than six months. Although, really, his reasoning was valid enough, Mai had spent the better part of a year thinking that she had somehow scared him off. Had offended him so deeply that he had to leave without warning, allow her to wake on her own, and spend a whole day expecting him to show up at work, only to be sorely disappointed. After two weeks, she couldn't stand it anymore, so it was to her father's that she went. Partly to avoid the Malfoy family if they came looking for him again (she didn't want their glares or the assumption that it was her fault; she already knew that it was), but partly in the hopes that her father might have some sort of remorse, some sort of understanding for her.

But, as usual, her parents had failed her. So it was to her office that she was forced to go. Never had she felt so small, or useless. Never before had she felt that she really and truly filled the shoes that her parents had set by the door for her. Lunch came one day, and things turned around, so it was to Theodore's home that she had gone. But, really, it didn't fill in the blank in her mind. Didn't answer the question as to why Scorpius couldn't have just told her he was going to try and find her help. She would have understood. She would have gone with him, no matter what his pride wanted him to do instead. But she had been abandoned by the first person who had ever seemed to truly love her for everything she was, and - perhaps more so - everything she wasn't.

Despite Theodore's hand at her side, and, obviously, the child she was expecting, Mai was terrified. Yet here he was, shoving it all in Hallie's face as though there was nothing else to do. Nothing else for it. But what could she do, really? Mairen didn't want to look like she was rejecting his hold in front of his ex-wife. Much good that would do either of them, right?

She was absurdly caught up in wondering what to do with herself - particularly with her hands, unsure where to settle them. Placing them on the first visible sign of her future felt like a slap to Hallie's face, even to Mai, so she couldn't. Instead, she let them relax at her sides, only breaking free from her thoughts when Esme spoke again. Her eyes jumped to the little girl, half expecting the name to be directed at Hallie. She didn't have a clue how long his daughter had known the auror, after all. But it was for her. The name, the title, was hers.

Her lips parted, nearly falling open when Theodore encouraged it. Mairen didn't want to think that it might be because of Hallie's presence, so she pushed that to the side, deciding to see what he did when she came back from work that evening. The idea of letting Theodore go home after this, though, was a terrible, terrifying one. Mairen had a feeling that she was going to need to take the rest of the day off if his stiffness was any sign as to how torn up he would feel.

She didn't want to make Esme think that she was disappointed, though. She wasn't at all. It was... endearing, and was what a quiet, secret corner of her heart had been hoping for, had been inching towards for the past few months. So she gave a gentle nod to the brunette, the corners of her mouth twitching upwards long enough to reassure the little girl. Her hands reached for Esme, supporting her on the way over and then keeping her settled at her side. It wasn't unusual for Esme to do such things - there was a running joke that Esme liked Mairen better some days - but the redhead did feel a little bad about the display they were creating.

Anyone looking on must have hated her just for standing there and accepting it. Anyone who cared for Hallie must have hoped for the floor to swallow up the woman who had come in between and was seemingly flaunting it, now, in front of everyone.

Mairen tucked away the change, used to that as well, and wondered when she had become used to these things. They had just happened, and now she was at a loss to explain them. Although Mai turned as Theodore silently suggested, she kept her gaze towards Hallie, trying to show that she was not intending to simply cut off conversation because something had gone wrong. She didn't want to be even more offensive towards someone who worked in the same building as her. Mairen didn't need more enemies, that was for sure.

There was a moment of hostility within her, though, as Hallie made a joke about Theodore's tendency to snore rather loudly - Mairen herself would have termed it "like a bear." This woman, obviously, would know about that. It was probably common knowledge to anyone who visited him too early in the morning or too late at night, or his family. Or even to friends from school. But Hallie wasn't really any of those things. She had been, and clearly still was, more than that. Especially to the man himself. So Mai turned her gaze down the line, pretending that she was checking to see if they needed to move forward again. Thank Merlin, they did. So she side stepped a bit, shuffling down the way.

Mairen knew, as soon as Hallie spoke to her again, that the mountain she would have to overcome to befriend that woman would be absurdly tall and treacherous. She half expected to find yet another mountain on the other side of that one, leading to a never-ending range of yet higher mountains. As Pope might have phrased it, "The more you know, the more you know how much more you need to know." Only, in this case, it wasn't about knowledge. It was about finding reasons for Hallie not to hate her, and, really, Mairen didn't have very many.

In that same moment, though, she knew that when they returned home, she was not going to be as physically - or verbally, more than likely - affectionate as she usually was. Theodore had inadvertently put her in a bad spot, and she was actually rather offended for Hallie as well as upset with him for not giving her any information to go off of when this time came. From what she understood, it had been partly on both of them, but the entire time she had known Theodore, it had seemed like it was Hallie's choice or Hallie's fault, although the words had never been spoken. In looking at Hallie and how hard the blonde was trying to make things seem normal, Mai had to assume that her "understanding" of things was just plain wrong. More of it was on Theo's end, but she had no way of knowing how much.

"I don't mind," she replied with a chagrined little smile, a bit afraid to continue speaking. She knew that it was expected, though, in the world of people with good manners. Sometimes Mairen wished she didn't care about such things. But her mother had instilled within her some very annoying habits and expectations. "It's not something I could ever fault you for. I have a feeling I would have done the same thing if the circumstance were the same," she continued, fully aware of how formal her words felt in her mouth. Perhaps Hallie would not notice since the women rarely spoke. Theodore, though, probably would.

And, in truth, there was very little doubt in the redhead's mind that she would not be particularly offended if Scorpius had done the same with another woman. It wasn't nearly the same, considering she had never married him, nor shared married life with him as Hallie had done with Theodore. But jealousy was, unfortunately, part of her nature. Although she knew that this was the case, there was little that she could do to stop it, and Mairen couldn't fault anyone for having that same streak of anger within them as well. Merely the image of Scorpius doing something like this, particularly if it were on purpose, made her bristle, and she could feel that temper she had attempted to hide from Theodore bursting through her.

She wanted to leave. She wanted to be given reason to hate Hallie - at least in the way that Hallie was allowed to hate the lawyer. And she was very afraid that, in her frustration, she would find herself in the spare room instead of where Theodore would probably prefer. Merlin help him if he moved her that night.

Without thinking, she turned her head towards Esme, pressing the length of her nose against the girl's temple, her forehead resting along her hairline. A little sigh escaped her, likely only audible to the child at her side, before Mai reached out towards the tray that would be Esme's lunch.

"Um," she offered belatedly, turning to look at the pair of them. If she had another hand free, she would have picked up her own tray as well. But there was something comforting about having something, someone to hold onto. Besides, if she put Esme down... a paranoid worry surfaced: that the girl Mai had come to think of as one of her own might decide she didn't prefer her new housemate after all. That wasn't fair, though, and Mairen knew it. "I don't know if... I mean..." she faltered again, drawing in a breath and ignoring the concerned look she caught from Esme. She couldn't make eye contact with any of them, and she felt like a coward. "If it's helpful, I can just take lunch in my office. So you can talk or whatever. Esme could come with me if you prefer, but, y'know, equally... Umm."


(ooc: Excuse me while I fangirl for a second over the fact that we just saw the same, like, ten seconds from three different POVs and they all hurt my shipper heart. I've never written a post so quickly.)

Theodore stood back a little bit, tucking one arm behind his back. He cleared his throat as a wry smile tugged at his lips and he ducked his head as Esme nodded enthusiastically and the expression on Mai’s face twitched ever so slightly. Obstinately he wanted to retort that it all really was just wine and he wasn’t really hurting anyone with it. He couldn’t find his witty retort. Instead hot smudges of blood rose into the apples of his cheeks and he swallowed, lifting his head again to flash a smile in Hallie’s direction before lifting it over to appraise Mai. Then, he leaned in and kissed his daughter – more for her cheek than anything else.

When Mai moved forward into the line to begin with the trays, Theodore regained some of his purpose. He reached forward and took the tray from Mai’s hands, shooting her an imploring look. He pressed her along a bit and shook his head, picking off bowls and plates of things he thought he’d like even if none of it really appealed to him anymore. He glanced at Hallie, trying to judge whether or not she’d actually want to talk. Theodore had no words left for her. He swallowed and shook his head again, trying to imagine he was somewhere else without this conversation.

“No, it’s fine,” he assured Mai quietly, though loud enough for both women to hear. “I don’t have anything to talk about. I came here to have lunch with you. You’re not going back to your office.” He sounded a bit too coarse, he realised, and a muttered apology followed. He swallowed and picked up a packet of crisps he knew would probably bring him out in spots in the following few days for all of the grease in them but he didn’t care – and he’d share with Esme.

“It was nice to see you, Hallie,” Theodore added as an afterthought, adding a box of juice to the tray. His eyes flicked to hers and he managed a smile for her – albeit a weak one. He’d tried. He’d tried. He’d always tried. Somehow, though, he’d never quite been enough. He wasn’t good. He’d never been good. Good enough, either. Merlin only knew how he’d be good enough for Esme, let alone Mai or their child. Would he ever be ‘just right?’

(OOC: This post was awful. I'm sorry.)