Did I Disappear?

[Corrine Redgrave]

Scott, her brother, was somewhere in Kazakhstan by now whilst Corrine was back in the apartment she'd moved into with Louis Weasley. In the heat of the moment it hadn't occurred to her inform Louis of where she was going and why, instead she'd packed her belongings and vanished from the country. Of course she'd quickly informed work before leaving that she needed some time off but Louis? Standing in the apartment, the door still open and a bag dropped by her feet was somewhat upsetting. Corrine was outgoing, loyal, kind and one thing that she placed so highly about her character was how much she cared and put other people first. Only now was it hitting her that by putting Scott so far at the top of her list Louis has dropped a few places. Would he have found out where she'd gone? Was he angry about her leaving? Was he upset? Corrine bit her lip.

An hour later Corrine was pulling items out of her bag, the remains of coffee (with added firewhiskey of course) going cold at the bottom of a mug sat on the table. It had been so long since Corrine had drank coffee and she was really in need of the caffeine to boost her motivation. There were some things that Corrine enjoyed to do and unpacking was not one of them, granted she had that maternal drive in her so it all came naturally and on any other day Corrine would have happily unpacked without a second thought but after travelling from Greece by foot for the past week it's hard to find motivation to even open the bag let alone unpack it.

There was worries on her mind. The questions about how Louis would react were still running around in circles. Each item of clothing Corrine folded and placed into the draw sparked another question: Were they still an item? Causing her to retract the item of clothing and placing it back into her bag.

Another hour had passed and still Corrine hadn't gotten anywhere. A part of her was starting to doubt the fact that she should even be in the apartment. Why hadn't Louis tried to find her? Was it that he had given up on her, that he was so mad at her for leaving without goodbye he didn't want to see or speak to her again? Or was it that the owl simply didn't find Corrine? After all her and her brother were trying to keep as low as possible to ensure their safety. Not that they would be in any danger considering the excuse Corrine had come up with to cover Scott's leaving but it still seems a tad suspicious. The pair of them taking off right after he murdered a muggle.

Deciding that she didn't want to intrude Corrine packed her bag, washed the coffee mug and returned it to it's place in the cupboard. All she had to do was leave the apartment, hide out in an upstairs hallway and wait for Louis to come back then she'd politely knock on the door, explain the situation and see how he felt and if she was invited. After a quick check of the apartment to ensure it was left as she'd found it Corrine picked up her bag, headed to the front door and...

'Louis.' She gasped, opening the door to find the man she'd loved, the man she'd left standing outside his apartment door.

[Louis Weasley]

Was it Monday? Tuesday? Wednesday? Louis really didn't know. There he was, standing outside of the Ministry building and trying to figure out what day it is. He vaguely remembered he agreed to visit his sister, Dom, after his shift at Friday, but he wasn't sure if that day has came. He shrugged and started walking in opposite direction, going home. He clenched his lips knowing he needed to go back, not back to the Ministry, but back to being his old self, the one who never forget what day is, the one who was always observing the environment, the one who always came to scheduled appointments, he knew Dom would forgive him for not visiting her, yes, she might want to know why he skipped, and he wouldn't have an answer. No, he would have one, if 'I don't know' can be considered an answer, but she would eventually went over it. Sometimes, Louis wanted to change that, maybe if someone punched him, jinxed him, or simply screamed because of his negligent behaviour, maybe he would give an effort to try and change it, yet until that happens he's stuck here, doing only mechanical actions, following everyday's routine. Get up. Shower. Eat. Go to work. Leave the workspace. Go home. Eat. Sleep. Sometimes he would go to the Leaky after the work, but rarely, usually he wouldn't have time nor willingness for that. Avoiding the whole human race was his new hobby, and he was extremely good at it.

He found out that solitude fits him much better than being surrounded with people. Solitude gives him enough time to think, to replay memories in his head, like he needed that. With every replay he was a step closer to St. Mungo's, though no one could see that. He played his role on family meetings, on those he wasn't absent, to be specific, he worked hard in his office, harder than he ever worked before, not only because he wanted to be the best, like he wanted int he past, but because it was excellent way of occupying his mind for something that will help everybody, doing something for grater good rather than sitting all day and imagining things that happen but that will never happen again. Not in near future, anyways.

Louis Weasley opened the doors of the building where he lived and took stairs rather than an elevator. Although he lived in muggle building, he wasn't thrilled with all muggle inventions like his grandfather did, so he never got the need to enter an iron box and let it close after him. It looked fragile and unsteadily so if stairs were his only other option he'll take it.

He touched the pocket where he usually carry his wand when the doors of his apartment opened before he touched the doorknob, but the pocket was empty, and he remembered putting it in the bag earlier, that was silly and he might die because of it. However he didn't need the wand, it would be useless piece of wood in his hand because he could never use it to hurt the person in front of him. Louis stood there paralaized, staring in those hazel green eyes.
It can't be true. He must be hallucinating. She's gone.
Yet, if that's a hallucination, it's a perfect one, she looks the same as she did before, same as she looked before she left. Same eyes, same long brown hair. Maybe a little more tired, but it's still the same person.
Louis inhaled and close his eyes for a second, then opened it again, and she was still here. She haven't disappeared.

She's back, but why?

This is going to be difficult, he thought a moment before opening his mouth. He remembered his auror's trainings and every emotion left his face, leaving only blank space, unreadable and one of the first things they learned, how to put a perfect mask, it's perfect when they need to deal with enemies, but he never thought he'll use it in his private life, standing in front of his ex lover. Life's playing some unpredictable sick game, and he just got the role.

Awesome.

"Corrine?"

[Corrine Redgrave]

Time passed as Corrine stared into the eyes of the man she'd left behind her before her own eyes traced across his features: The facial hair, which appeared less groomed than she remembered, the creases around his eyes, the strong jawline. She'd been apart from Louis for so long she'd forgotten how handsome he'd been. Although it wasn't just his dashing good looks that had her speechless, seeing his face once more brought back the memories. Their first date, meeting his family, moving into the apartment together.

His voice, however, cut through the memories. If looks had brought uprooted buried emotion that was nothing compared to the sound of his voice. Sound was different to sight. Sure Corrine had been able to conjure up a picture of Louis in her mind as Scott and her had backpacked through Hungary but the sound of his voice wasn't something that could be created in the same way. His voice was beautiful.

'Sorry, I should have told you I was coming back.' Corrine said, breaking the silence, quietly thinking in her head that she still needed to explain why she went in the first place.

Stepping back to allow Louis to enter into the apartment Corrine walked across to the window, her fingers uncontrollably fiddling with each other. Where would she start? With the murder? How her brother had come to her, begging for help, crying about his crime? About how he had left the death eaters and in doing so that mean't Corrine was no forever tied to the death eaters and would be forced to act as if he was on vacation because of that phrase 'once a death eater always a death eater.' Wherever Corrine chose to start it wouldn't be easy and if Louis still loved her the way she loved him then hopefully that would make it less difficult, if not, well, Corrine had gotten through worse in her life, she could do it again.

[Louis Weasley]

Molly always told him he was an awful actor, saying he has that thing that simply reveals him every time he tries to lie. It would never be something big, sometimes the way his lips twitched while he was thinking about his next words, the way he focus his gaze on something irrelevant, something stiff in his posture. He remembered every little thing Molly said, and tried to get rid of those things. Disguising himself in different body on aurors practices was easier than disguising his own thoughts. He still wasn't sure if he was successful in the last one. It's time to try.

He casually entered the apartment, making sure to pass her without touching, even the slightest touch might broke his posture, and he couldn't afford it.He did it too many times and he saw where that led him. Louis went straight to the kitchen, poured water in a coffee pot, lit the fire on the stove and put coffee pot on it, following the old fashioned muggle way rather than using magic. He was sure that Corrine would follow him here, eventually. Louis made a coffee without speaking, he pulled out the cups out of the cabinet and set them on the table, then poured hot dark liquid in both cups, before returning the coffee pot on the stove and turning the flame off.

There was just one thing left, he opened the cabinet again, and pulled out a bottle of flamewhiskey, the same bottle they bought months before, that laid untouched and unopened after she left. After putting the bottle at the middle of the table, than changing his mind and putting it closer to her cup he sat down on a wooden chair, leaving her the other one, blue one. Since they were buying cheapest mismatched furniture only so they could move in quicker, and start their life sooner, that chair was the most colourful part of the furniture they owned.

„Should you?“ He raised his brows. „It doesn't matter. I got used to this, anyways. If you left without goodbye why would you care to announce you're coming back?“ He took a sip of his coffee although he knew it's still too hot for drinking, but he could live with burned tongue, he survived worse than that.

[Corrine Redgrave]

Closing the door once Louis had entered, taking a deep inhale, Corrine followed him into the kitchen a minute or so later. There was a bottle of firewhiskey on the table besides a mug, her mug. Time may have passed but he didn't forget how she liked her coffee. A drop or two of firewhiskey made all the difference. Corrine was never one to drink, she'd seen what it had done to her Father and she pretended that she didn't need the firewhiskey but after pulling her Father from bar doors and trying to keep her brother on the rails the witch had needed something to soothe her.

'You remembered.' Corrine said, trying to brush off the shade that Louis had thrown her way and instead unscrewing the cap of the liqueur and letting a little more than usual trickle into her coffee. It was a nice distraction, giving her more time to decide in what direction she wanted to take this. Although, really, there wasn't any need to think about it Corrine knew exactly where she would begin: At the start and with the truth.

'Before I tell you why I went away I need you to promise that you wont freak out, that you wont get mad and walk away, that if you have any questions, any tinglings of anger or confusion, that you'll raise them and we will talk through it? '

Corrine didn't have a Mother. Her Father had bounced back and forth between alcoholism and gambling, meanwhile her brother was now out of her life for good. She didn't have friends as they all remained at Hogwarts whilst she'd dropped out early to get a job to fend for her family. Corrine had lost a lot of love in her life, she didn't want to lose love again.

[Louis Weasley]

Louis' eyes followed her since the second she appeared on kitchen doors never looking away, he was partly afraid she'll disappear if he turns his head, if he only blinks, she might turn into dust, and he wasn't ready for that, she came back only few minutes ago, although he didn't know whether is she staying or this is some wicked kind of saying goodbye three months too late. To be honest, Louis Weasley actually didn't care which closure she might choose he was only happy to see her, yet his pride kept him from showing that. Or it was his brain, reminding him what happened the last time he cared for someone and showed that?

"I don't forget things. Nor people." He expected he'll feel satisfaction, anger, anything. But that statement left him dull, and he almost immediately regretted saying that. It was mean, it sounded meaner than he thought it would before saying it aloud. Louis brushed fingers through his hair, removing it from the face . "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. Nervs." His cheeks acquired merely visible pink color, as he felt his face heating.

"It's not like I can get out, the only door is that one behind you, and I can't jump through the window without breaking my neck." Fleur would most likely forced him to clean whole house if she heard that, she always hated the way her son turned toward sarcastic answers whenever things get tricky, he would sound more than douchebag than the boy she raised, and although she hadn't succeed in teaching him French, Louis still couldn't hear any difference between le tour and la tour, she thought she raised him well enough. "I'm sorry again." He shifted on the chair avoiding her glance. "I promise I will listen until you say everything you wanted to say." It was everything he was ready to promise for now.

[Corrine Redgrave]

'Thank you.' Corrine replied, a soft smile forming momentarily on her face. It was hard to live your life having people around you disappear, watching people disappear and losing who they were. There comes a point when you've seen it so many times that it becomes expected. You begin to expect the worst. The only good thing about having that perspective is that you can never be disappointed, which was the whole reason behind that approach to life. To avoid disappointment and feeling of rejection. If you have it in your mind you'll be rejected then rejection hurts a lot less. It's numbed.

'Scott was on a mission for the death eaters.' Corrine began, her fingers anxiously circling the rim of her mug. 'He was mean't to try and find some information about the muggles who had acquired magic and in doing so things got a little heated and he ended up killing one of them.'

Corrine paused. The words had come so effortlessly from her mouth that it pained her. She was used to death, she dealt with death everyday at St Mungo's and in some cases people who had been murdered were brought into the hospital for formality. Never, though, did she expect to be at the other end of a murder, at the scene.

Corrine had been finishing work when Scott had rushed into the reception of St Mungo's. He was sweaty, his hands wouldn't stop moving, his breathing erratic and his eyes had been bloodshot and Corrine could only see two emotions inside of them: panic and fear. She'd taken Scott into a private store cupboard and in between bedpans and fresh sheets he'd confessed to his sister of his sins. Of course, being the sister that would walk through fire for a loved one, she apparated to the muggle's house and found the dead body.

The man had no colour to his skin and his eyes were wide as though he'd been pleasantly surprised by something. Corrine never completed her defense against the dark arts NEWT but she could remember the symptoms of those who suffered the killing curse. She had been the one who'd helped Scott dispose of the body, taking him to The Forest of Dean where they'd dug a hole and buried him. It was this scene that had caused Scott to confess to his sister that he was in over his head with the death eaters, that he couldn't carry out any more missions. He wasn't a killer and he wanted out. There was, however, one little thing stopping him: Once a death eater always a death eater.

Corrine had signed up to the death eaters to help protect her brother, to try and win his trust back and lead him out from the death eaters. She'd succeeded but at a price: If they left the death eaters there would be a price on their heads. They would be killed for their betrayal. Corrine understood, they knew too much it was as simple as that and memory charms could be reversed.

'He came to me, told me what he'd done and they I helped hide the body.' Corrine continued, a lump catching in her throat as the images of family photographs in the muggle's home came to the forefront of her mind.

'Then we went away. Scott wanted to leave the death eaters but he couldn't just quit, he'd be killed. I figured if we went travelling then it would give us time to come up with a plan as to how he could leave.'

She sighed.

'The only plan we could come up with is that on our travels Scott met someone and then continued travelling with them. I would have stayed with him, I would have but I hated it. Being away from work, being away from you and besides-'

Corrine's faced formed a look of disgust as she spoke the next words, her eyes darting from Louis' to the window. 'I had to return and continue the role of death eater. Me being here, being a death eater, it's what will keep us alive.'

She returned her eyes, now swimming with tears, to Louis'.

'As long as I'm still a death eater and they think Scott is travelling then he'll be safe. He wont be hunted down by anyone and we can continue our lives as they were it's just.' A hand went to clutch at her throat. 'I can't go the way Scott has. I can't become a murderer. It's destroyed him. He's broken and I've left him alone somewhere in Kazakhstan. He said he'll be fine, that he'll keep travelling but I can't help but worry about him. About this mess I've landed myself into. I - I joined the death eaters, made you join the death eaters, to win his trust, to help him leave and now he is out, he's free but I'm still here. I'm trapped and am terrified of what I'll be asked to do. They'll probably expect me to carry out Scott's duties whilst he's travelling and I can't do what we did. I can't tear families apart!'

The lump in her throat had burst and the light tears that had formed were rolling down Corrine's cheeks as she let out all her worries, all her pain of how traumatic the past three months had been. Sure she had been away travelling with Scott but it hadn't been fun. Nightmares had followed her. The sound of Scott screaming in the night upon waking from a bad dream. Random people in the street gave her heart attacks as she thought she'd recognised people from the photographs that the Muggle had kept above his fireplace. It had all been too much and right now she needed reassurance and, for once, someone to take care of her. To protect her.

[Louis Weasley]

This wasn't what he expected to hear.

During all the time they spent together before she left, Corrine barely mentioned her family members. He knew she has a brother, but nothing more, he assumed she has at least one living parent but she never told him anything about them, what they like, how do they look like, who was there to heal hers bruised knees when she was younger, he didn't know anything. Corrine has never talked about them before and he never pushed her to do it, so as much as the story she was telling was frightening as much as it was relieving. It was relieving because he now knew for sure she has a family, as much as he sometimes hated his family he could never bear the thought of being on this world all alone, he was happy Corrine hasn't experienced that. Though, with every new little detail she revealed he hated her brother more and more.

Louis didn't have a death wish so he didn't say that aloud, though. It was clearly visible just how much Corrine loves her brother. He could hear her love for him in her voice. However everything she said about her brother made this Weasley dislike him more. One part of his mind didn't stop telling him he couldn't judge people according to just one decision they made, but he ignored it pretty well so far. Louis simply couldn't understand the man, firstly, how insane you may be if you have decided to join Death Eaters? Just as insane as you, he reminded himself he's still a member, not that he could judge him because of that, scratch that, although it was unfair that didn't stop him. Secondly, what kind of man you need to be to kill and let others clean the mess you've made while you're travelling? He won't answer on that one.

Louis get up and started walking through kitchen, cleaning it and returning things on their place, it was something he always did when he was nervous. He took the bottle of firewhiskey and started to open the cabinet where it stood but he let his arm fell down, and instead of opening the cabinet he took a glass and poured some whiskey in it, before he could change his mind Louis drank it. His rule about not drinking during the week because of the job was now broken, but he couldn't care less. He needed that drink to calm himself.

He sat on the chair again and placed his chin on his palms as she continued the story. Regardless of the ugly topic Louis loved hearing her voice again, although he could hear the pain in her voice, another reason to hate her brother, he missed her voice, he missed her. Apparently his attempts to hate her were useless, he knew that the moment he saw her. He wanted to extend his hand towards her, to comfort her, but he did nothing, just sat there while her words filled the silence.

„You should have told me.“ He whispered when she stopped to catch a breath. „I would help you, you know I would.“ He couldn't deny it wasn't expected that she told him nothing. His brother had committed a crime, and Louis worked in the Ministry, the best thing was that he worked as some kind of cop there, and that his department would probably be assigned to solve that murder if anybody find out about that. But no one did, they never got any evidence that the murder really happen, and he wasn't a part of Death Eaters than, so he couldn't hear anything from them. Not that they would tell him something like that, though, they still don't belive him, even since he didn't do anything to stop them in their doings, at least as far as they know. Being a Weasley was enough for distrust.

Scott really did not deserve a sister like Corrine. From Louis point of view, the only thing they had in common was their similar DNA code (he should say thanks to Arthur for renting muggle weekend cottage only because it had a TV, so they could watch marathons of CSI), but they seemed to be different in anything else. Corrine was so altruistic, so full of love for her brother. Scott, at the other hand, seemed like the most selfish person that exists, letting his sister to deal with wolves while he's doing nothing.

Louis get up again as he saw tears streaming down her face. He walked around the table, and pulled the chair next to her, without thinking about it, he pulled her into his arms, gently stroking her hair. Closing his eyes he inhaled and the smell of her shampoo filled his nostrils. He didn't say anything, he was always bad with words, so instead of saying something, instead of whispering sweet nothings he remained silent, replaying her words in his mind, it sounded terrible, he couldn't imagine how she felt since she lived through all that.

[Corrine Redgrave]

Corrine felt herself collapse into Louis' arms as he held her after her confession. All the tension that she held, the weight that she'd carried with her for so long suddenly felt feather light. As though it had blown away in the wind and all that remained was a warmth glow from the sunshine. Louis was her sunshine, radiating love and warmth onto it. For the first time in a long time it felt comforting.

'I'm so sorry.' Corrine gasped as mascara tears trailed down her cheeks. 'I wasn't thinking. I just had to protect Scott, get him away from the death eaters.'

After another minute or so of crying Corrine's tears finally began to ease slightly and she lifted herself back from Louis to look at his face. His eyes were so caring, so full of love. Corrine had dragged him into the death eaters, she'd left without goodbye and yet Louis was still by her side with just as much love as he had before the drama began. For the first time in Corrine's life she felt wanted, as though someone was caring for her as opposed to being the Mother to a forty something year old alcoholic and a teenage tearaway.

'Thank you.' She said before placing a hand onto the side of his face and kissing his lips softly. 'You don't understand how much it means to me that you're still here.' And once again her arms wrapped around Louis and embraced the only man who hadn't let her down.

'I don't know what I'd do without you.'

[Louis Weasley]

Louis found himself trapped in deja vu feeling. He was holding Corrine the same way he hold her when she found out her brother joined the Death Eaters. He hated to see her crying, he hated to see anyone crying, especially her, but he couldn't deny it felt wonderful to have her in his arms again. Traitor, he called himself in his mind for not being able to resist to touch her again.

"It's okay. I understand." In fact, he didn't but he's not going to rub that on her face while she's crying, comforting her was still on his first place, and that would probably make her feel more miserable. After a little thinking he wasn't so sure he'll tell her at all, it's a lie, but a small one, she doesn't need to know.

Louis stayed still when her lips brushed his. No, not still, more like paralyzed, he never thought he'll feel her lips again. He felt himself relaxing when she hugged him again. "I'm sure you would find a way." He murmured in her hair, "you're one of the strongest woman I've met." In that moment he believed that the sorting hat had placed her in the wrong house, as she was braver and more selfless than most of people were, those were two of many things why Louis loved her so much, but at the same time he was sure that the sorting hat made the right choose, it saw the good in her even when she couldn't see it by herself.

When it seemed like she stopped crying and let him go Louis stood up and walked towards the bathroom without a word, he returned in a second with a box of tissues in his hand, those with flowery smell and tissues of different colors, from the palest ones towards the darkest ones, so the people who use them can know how many tissues has left, according to their colour. One red tissue was sticking out of the box, letting them know they're almost close to half of the color spectrum as well as halfway through the tissues. Louis handed the box to Corrine and smiled. "Here, try these, they're awesome, believe me." Although he would be happier if she wouldn't need to use them at all, that would mean she's happy.

"I think it's time for coffee." Louis being Louis believed that good cup of coffee could solve every problem.