Stressed! (Ahh!)

Okay, so I have a lot of feelings about PA at the moment and I'm really torn on staying, just taking a few steps back or going altogether. In all honesty I'm not really sure what to do but I feel stressed out when I come on PA, which isn't really how I should be feeling as I love RPing, I love the world of Harry Potter, I love creating characters and throwing them in situations, I love having my characters interact with others around the site, which is stressing me out even more (weirdly).

My life is going to get pretty hectic soon. I'm returning to Uni, I have lots of friends that I want to spend time with and really embrace the friendship (as cheesy as that sounds), I'll be getting more academic work, I also want to get more involved in things at Uni and then I really want to work on my music and attend open mic nights etc - meaning that most of my spare time I'll be practising. As you can see that leave little, if any, time for PA.

I do still want to find some time for PA, even if it's just like a thread a day (perhaps not even that!) and I find when I do find those short bursts of time to come on I'm stressed about not replying quickly, forgetting to reply to some threads, putting other threads before others and ignoring certain characters and then some characters I'm starting to dislike and just want to get rid of have a completely fresh start.

There are some characters that I feel obliged to keep as they are useful around the site whether that be at Hogwarts, factions, site plotting and I do enjoy using them - sometimes. But it's got to the point where I just want a clean slate. I just want to have a character that has no history, not many relationships, essentially a blank canvas and dedicate all PA time I have to that one character to really still feel connected because if I start becoming less and less active I'll soon find myself disengaged with my characters because there are so many and more likely to not care and simply leave altogether.

However, a part of me is stressing about doing that as some of my characters, like I said are useful, or are directly involved in another members plotting and I don't want to ruin the fun for anybody else around the board. The admins have worked hard to sort the pods out and if I dropped all of my student characters and make one fresh one then it messes all that up. If I drop Amelia that leaves Hogwarts without a deputy head, charms Professor. Amelia could be replaced but then as a character she wouldn't leave the school, especially not now and I feel like I'd PERSONALLY need an explanation as to why she decided to leave - even after I dropped her I believe that would probably stress me out.

Hallie is the leader of the Order. I used to love Hallie but now I'm over her. I just want her to be gone (ouch). Pansy is the reporter of the daily prophet, there are others so I guess that wouldn't be too bad? Alexander is married to Isadora and they have a new exciting relationship.

This isn't a farewell ( I don't think ) but more of a possible goodbye and I need to discuss this with people around the board and wasn't really sure where to post this. To sum up:

- I have less time to dedicate to PA and:

1. Keep all characters. BUT If I do this then each character will be getting less and less time, I wont feel attached to them, it will become a chore to use them and I will eventually just find myself not feeling a need to come onto the site.

2. Have a one new character and devote all my RPing time to that character. I feel this is perhaps the only way that would work for me staying in the long term. BUT I'd feel terribly guilty as I feel like I'd be messing everything up (perhaps that is a bit dramatic?): pods, charms, Hogwarts, Order, other peoples plotting. - i kind of don't mind Francesca and Cynthia as they are essentially that, sort of.

3. Take time away until my life is less busy. BUT when that time comes to returning I'll have lost the excitement about RPing and just think 'what the heck' and most likely not return at all.

4. Just leave completely. BUT of course this isn't what I really want yet feel this is what I'm leaning most towards.


Sorry if I am making a big deal out of nothing I just don't want to leave anybody in the lurch if I do decide to leave and I kind of want to talk about it and make you aware of know there will be solutions if I decide to take option 2.

Also if anybody has another option or suggestions feel free to let me know.

PS: If I am making such a big deal out of nothing I feel like that probably says that I should leave as an online RP site shouldn't really make you feel like that.

Also I forgot to add that if I do decide to leave or scrap all of my characters I don't mind helping out organising anything to help the admins if needs be so that it's not a total mess.

I think we're all on that boat right now, but this isn't me trying to downplay what's going on for you. Rather, I want to assure you that you're not alone in this. If you need someone to take on certain areas, feel free to PM me about it, because lord knows I have characters that could help.

I'm always getting to that point where one character comes before the others, so nobody can begrudge you having a favorite or needing a new favorite. Rather, I'd say focus on the character that makes you happiest, and let me know what I can do to take on responsibilities you feel are too much.

Dp, sorry, but I have an idea for Hallie and Amelia if you decide you're done with either or both.

Thanks Addie, it's nice to know others are feeling the same too!
Tbh, the only characters that have some sort of strong(?) role are Hallie, Amelia and Pansy (daily prophet, which I noticed Eli has a character who also reports there - not that I'm shoving everything your way Eli!)

What are your ideas about Hallie and Amelia?

Well I've got Oliver, too, who is a freelance writer so he could do that if we need him to.

I'm gonna shoot you a PM so we can chat more easily. I have one more class and then I'll send it

rj, I've been in your shoes more times than I want to admit.

you have lots of options in front of you and, I think, some you probably haven't thought of.

I will be more than happy to help you sort this through, if there are any ideas I have to offer you. i'll also shoot you off a pm.

Hey Khaat!

Thanks for your support. I think I've thought things over and I've had a chat with Addie. I'm not going to leave, I will not be able to be as active, but when I am I really want to dedicate it to fewer characters and not have any responsibility and just RP for fun, as a way to unwind.

I've come up with a way to have Hallie and Amelia leave - which could have knock on effects with how people view the ministry depending on how their exit is portrayed in the prophet (if it is written at all) but the sudden vanishing of the deputy headmistress may lead people asking questions.

As for Pansy, Alexander & Anastasia I'm going to take a step back from them, which leaves Bertie and Francesca.

Bertie will be my main character then as for Fran & Cynthia, I'll use them as my blank canvases, a new adventure.

Once again sorry for anybody who has plotting with these but I simply can't dedicate time to those characters and if I tried to I know I'd end up leaving altogether.

Plus this keeps all my characters open for a possible revival if I ever find the time for them in the future.

RJ, I've felt that quite a few times. My best advice is to take a leave of absence. Two weeks, stay away. There's been times where that two weeks became months, that two weeks helped me scrap my characters, or I broke down and kept posting four days in. It helps to give yourself that time away. Whatever you decide, we will support you.