VALETH, John

Hey,

I've read your app, but I do have some concerns. Can you modify him a bit please?

First, he's similar in a lot of ways to James Rosier. Can you differentiate him a bit? He might physically look different, but there's a lot about his core personality, etc, that is too close to Rosier. This guy needs to be his own person.

Second, he's too powerful for 19. "Powerful, Very skilled and resourceful"--perhaps qualify that a bit? He could be powerful, skilled and resourceful for his age, but he comes off as being entirely too powerful for being a fairly recent grad.

He's had access to too many wizarding secrets, knowledge that more seasoned wizards would have, etc. Please dial that back.

And I don't see enough vulnerabilities in him. He's too flawless, and he needs to be a bit more human.

Thanks!

Hi! No disrespect meant but I' d like not to change the personality, if you don't mind, because ooc I'm actually James' friend and he was the one that talked me into returning to PA after all these years. I liked it back then, so I decided to give it another try since I have some free time now... And one of the things we both agreed when he told me his idea, was that both of us plus another friend that will play my cousin ic, would be dark wizards, that had common goals, and would be best friends, and let's face it, you usually are best friends with people that have a similar personality to yours... When I was writting the personality bit, what I had in mind was what J.K. had wrote about Death Eaters and Voldemort, picking a bit of both and I came up with that... If you really want me to change it I will, but I think that for me, that character just wouldn't feel the same, and as much fun to roleplay with.
As for the "powerful, very skilled and resourceful" I meant like you said, for his age... A bit like Hermione, that was very powerful skilled and resourceful, due to her passion for studying and knowledge. Like I said in the history, all his life he has been interested on Dark Magic and related stuff, he has gained that interest from his parents, that being Dark Wizards, would teach him and foment his quest for power and darkness... All of that besides the research he had done in Hogwarts troughout the years... I don't mean to make him O.P., because he his only "great" in D.A. and D.A.D.A. which he spent all his life learning since he longed for them... As for the other subjects he is as good as someone who studies and likes to obtain knowledge... I've always heard and related since I was little to the sentence "Knowledge is power", and I kind of had that in mind while writing the character's bio... I also think he isn't quite done yet, thus why he wishes to go and work in the Department of Mysteries, so he can keep pursuing his need for knowledge in the Dark Arts in order to become powerful and ultimately feared by those around him... As for the flaws, I'll do my best to add more! I've tried to demonstrate that in order not to having vulnerabilities he had broke up with the love of his life, showing a bit of his humane personality, and for Dark Wizards, love would be considered one major liability, and I was planning to explore this particular liability in the future. I hope I have explained well my point of view, and that I can do the necessary changes to start enjoying PA!

Best Regards!

Btw, I did add a few lines to his personality! And I tried to make him more humane... I'm hoping to explore more of that in the future, it's all part of the plan

Cheers!

You haven't thought about who he is, really. He has a lot of plot potential which is great but you need to think about the bits of his personality that make him redeemable. I am sure even Voldemort had a favourite pair of socks and Lucius loved his family - redeeming factors make a character. He needs to be more fleshed out - does he like strawberry jam, does he like skiing but hate beach holidays, etc.? We need to see him as he is going to be now because if not we can't trust he's going to evolve appropriately in rp.

I am going to stick to something I mentioned last night. It is not possible or realistic that wizards working in the department of mysteries would have been allowed to pass on governmental secrets to a child. there certainly would have been safeguards on those things, and, if his parents had tried to do so, the Unspeakables surely would have killed his parents for treason and would have obliterated john's memories. Plus, dark wizards would not have told their most powerful magic secrets to a child. that's not how that works. you do still have to dial that back. I can't accept the app with him having that much advanced information.

edited!

he's definitely a lot better. thank you. that did help a lot. the only thing that I think he's missing is a bit of the detail that helps us to get to know him as a person.

for example, take a look at one of PA's new bad guys, Gideon Pierce. (Yeah, its my app, but it was what came to mind first....my bad. Sorry.) Look at the detail in likes and dislikes. its that sort of personal preference stuff that helps us to get a sense about him.

Help us get to see him a bit. Does he prefer Earl Grey and hate Green Tea? Is his favorite dish Steak Tartare? Does he prefer wools to linens? Are we more likely to see him with a cigarette? Or a pipe? Is he happier with snow or with rain or with summer heat? Give me a few of those things and then I'll probably shut it about him. ROFL

Edited again! Hopefully for the last time!   

much better. thank you. I can accept him now.

accepted and sorted to grads