Lockwood, Austin

Same goes for this app as it does for Landen's, Soph, because this doesn't work.

History needs to go - changed so it is written differently - and that goes for the appearance, too, because the two sections are more or less exactly the same on both apps and that doesn't work at all.

Personality needs to be tweaked. Big time. He needs to be his own person. He is not his brother. Austin is Austin, not Landen. Just because they're twins, doesn't mean they're the same person. They're not. They're individuals too. So that really needs to be sorted out before this can go through.

Ok Eli, you have to help me out here, didn't Fred and George have VERY similar personalities? They were both Gryffindors, both pranksters, both trouble makers! I'm a twin myself and me and my twin are very similar to each other.

Yes, similar - not exactly the same. There were subtle nuances to them that made them different. These two applications are practically the same - word for word the same, never mind the fact that they are twins. That is my problem. They are bound to be similar, the two brothers. What I object to is the fact that the applications are the same with a few bits changed. That's not on. The appearance and history needs to be changed. You need to write it yourself. Even if the content is the same, it's different from the point of view of the character and because of that, the two are different because their personalities will dictate the way they perceive the history.

So, irrespective of whether they are similar they are not the same character. They are different, twins or not, and I am not accepting two characters that are practically the same. It's just not happening. It doesn't show a depth of understanding for the character and it doesn't show development of him throughout the application process. So please, take time with him, figure out who he is on his own, not just in relation to his brother.

Ok, I changed the personality, General appearance and history let me know if there's anything else I need to change about him!

Okay, right.

The first paragraph of the appearance is exactly the same as Christy's, as is the first paragraph of Hogwarts history. The same goes for the section of the personality between Boggart and Mirror of Erised. You can really bring out the differences between them there. You need to take advantage of it. Those paragraphs need to be changed, though. You need to write them yourself or re-write it, depending on who wrote it originally.

I want a few more traits from him, some different likes and some different goals. The apps still sound too similar to each other and we really need to get away from that.

Also, as I said to Christy, you're going to need to have a rethink about playbys. We no longer accept Youtubers. Sorry. (:

Soph, you know how this goes. You have until this Friday to finish this app or I'll have to move him until you feel like finishing him.

Let us know if you need help.

k

Last reminder, Soph. If this app isn't finished by tomorrow evening, I will move it to storage until you have time to finish it. We'll be happy to get it back out when you're ready to work on it.

moved