Avery wasn't given the time she had desired to gulp down whatever alcohol she could manage, but his obvious unease in her presence made her deflate slightly. She downed the glass regardless, knowing that she was still angry and hoping it would ease her frustration as well as her self-caused (well, mostly. She could own up to 'mostly') pain. It stung, but Avery wasn't about to complain. It meant it would do the job.
In any case where she was actually sober and cognoscent of why her emotions did or did not make sense, Avery would have taken pity on him. In her slightly fuzzy state, though, she had trouble keeping a level head. If she had been paying attention, she would have asked Robin to make her a note with a warning against drinking during a fight.
"It really.. It doesn't matter." Avery replied to his attempt at an apology. She could tell he was confused, but couldn't seem to stop talking. Desperate, though she was, to pour another drink, Avery wasn't sure Robin would let her. Her hand toyed with the rim of the container hopefully. "You know, I realize that this place isn't at all mine. Not even partly. I know that. It may never be, or even feel that way. But I don't think it would be so horrible for you to maybe offhandedly mention that some woman I don't know - who well may have slept there before - would be using your bed. Yes, I know that's yours as well."
Why was she even doing this? Avery couldn't place the feeling running through her veins and pinching at her heart. She hadn't felt anything like it since she realized her family was no longer hers. Since then she had striven to ensure she would never feel that way again. But here she was in her ridiculously overbearing self, and it was like she was explaining to Claire all over again that their parents would never get re-married.
The countertop had become a sort of crutch as she leaned over it in an attempt to keep it together. She needed to get out her words before they left her with nothing but an angry husband and a guest room to sleep in until a hangover greeted her in the morning.
"Della.. She has, hasn't she? Recently, probably."
Avery didn't think she wanted him to answer, so she just stated at Robin in the hopes that he couldn't find the nerve to admit it. Her mind seemed to be stuck, perpetually, on her memories of their wedding, because her next words were stinging her as they left her mouth. "Have you forgotten the promises you made in your vows already? You said you wanted to earn my trust in all things. I remember those words distinctly, because they ran through my head the entire night. After Claire showed up, I had to convince myself you meant it. Now, I'm stuck again, Robin, because I don't feel like you're telling me the whole story." Avery's eyes flicked between his as if she could read his thoughts or see his memories in doing so.
Suddenly, she let out an audible gasp of surprise and slight pain as her brow furrowed and she set the now-empty glass back on the countertop. Avery knew. She had been right, about Della being one of the people Robin had some semblance of a relationship with in the past. Like Claire, except Avery couldn't sit about and assume he had proposed to this girl, too. He hardly seemed like the proposing type in the time she'd known him.
She was right, and he hadn't seen fit to mention it.
Granted, if her mind hadn't been clouded with the numbing buzz of alcohol, Avery may not have been so incredibly offended by this. She shouldn't have expected him to tell her about every person he had ever been with. Except that she hadn't been with anyone else, especially not in the way she was sure Della had been with Robin. So her traitorous mind started shouting at her that he clearly didn't think of their extremely personal activities the same way she did.
In that moment, though, Avery found that she couldn't dislike the woman in as much as she had never met her, and that she couldn't hold Della's interest in him against her. But at the same time, Avery wasn't entirely sure she wanted to meet his ex-whatever-she-was whenever she arrived with her friend. Unfair judgements would be made by Avery - especially about herself - and it would just cause more pain than anything else. Even more than resentment or anger.
"I can't, Robin." Her eyes narrowed at him to keep herself from wanting to cry. Anger was better than tears. Her hand shook as she spoke, matching the disappointed shaking of her head. If she was wrong about the two of them, it was too late now, because the words didn't seem to want to stop. "I can't trust you if you won't tell me things like this. What if she had told me about the two of you? Do you have any idea how that would have felt? Lucky you, I guess. You don't have to wonder. You can rest easy knowing I don't have any of those stories." The last sentence flew out of her mouth, leaving such a bitter aftertaste that she wished they'd never come out at all.
Her stare fell to the glass in her hand before she released it and brushed past him to search for parchment in his so-called Stuff Room. There had to be some in there somewhere. After rifling through some stray papers, Avery's gaze alighted on a blank piece and she snatched it up along with a nearby quill.
As much as she wanted the argument to be over, Avery had a blinding desire to both insult him in showing him the letter as she wrote it, as well as a need to offer him one moment to know that she wasn't just up and disappearing. He would know who to look for. Her feet carried her back into the kitchen where she spread the parchment on the counter and bent over it to write.
"Keiran. Drinks. Ten minutes. -Avery."
He would know something horrible had happened. He would be wrong to assume he was forgiven, but with Gavin not being back from his honeymoon as far as Avery knew, she was short on options. She needed a man's perspective on this.
If she didn't need his voice in the matter, Avery would have just left. Unfortunately, all Avery wanted to do in that breath of time was to run home - to the flat she still considered her home (especially now, when her constant presence in his house didn't seem to mean it was hers in the slightest) - and fall through the doors into Mira's momentarily surprised and then undoubtedly welcoming arms. It would take a moment after her feet landed, Avery mused, for the panic to set in. For Mira to realize this wasn't a surprise visit because it was nearly Christmas.
She didn't realize she was moving to the window during her mental ramblings a until the chill hit her. Avery's hand reached for the owl that came to the windowsill and tied on the letter before watching the bird fly away into the aching cold of the night's snowfall. She wasn't looking forward to going out in that. Robin's home needed a damn floo. Or even just a fireplace for in the winter.
Turning towards the living room once more, Avery wasn't sure if he was saying anything. The rush she felt in her desire to leave made it hard to focus on anything else. Finally, she recalled where she had left her jacket and shrugged it on before stepping into her boots. She was completely over feeling like anyone she needed or wanted in her life would go away. Like they would inevitably leave and move onto bigger and better things and people, like Avery guessed her family had. All she wanted was to fall into the oblivion she so rarely allowed herself near, where she could get lost and have Keiran drop her at home in the wee hours of the night.
She probably shouldn't have requested Keiran meet her for drinks when she was so far down the road to being smashed already. She shouldn't have opened the door and marched out into the snow in front of Robin's place - especially without a scarf.
She definitely shouldn't have failed to notice she was in love with him until her feet left the pavement.
((OOC: had to type this on my phone and I may not be able to post again until tomorrow or the next day. So I wanted to get this plot movin so we could also work on the heist, past, and weddings ones when I got back :)obviously, feel free to fill in the gaps and in my next post I can write her reactions/replies to whatever he says ^.^ ))