Emptier

Lorcan hadn't said any more than necessary the last couple of days. He had gone to St. Mungos alone, had faced the task of identifying his daughter's body, had made the funeral arrangements alone--all in an effort to keep his family away from any more unpleasantness than he had to let them face.

His own private consumption of alcohol and cigarettes had been at an all time high since Shaw had said Dyllan had murdered her. It was his only way to cope. He'd had no patience for food or sleep either one. His daughter wasn't doing either. It seemed like a slap in her beautiful face to do so.

And he was a bit angrier now. More because the weather for Alexis's funeral yesterday had seemed like one more cruel Order joke. Blissfully sunny and balmy and cheerful, more suited for pool parties. Not burying one's child.

He was relieved when the rain had started in today at daybreak. Not storming, just a steady summer rain, with enough dark clouds to live up to the expectations he had wanted of the weather gods yesterday. He'd returned today to the cemetery, in trim designer dress jeans, a charcoal grey v necked summer sweater with the sleeves pushed up to a 3/4 length, and gray canvas slip-ons, a pair of dark aviators covering his eyes. And in his hand, one red rose.

As he walked through the cemetery, he found the graves of all the friends of Jack Dyllan's, with all their headstones beautifully adorned with bright, happy flowers. In his bitterness, he made a slashing motion with his wand, destroying ever little blossom those graves had.

When he got to Alexis's new grave, he silently laid the red rose on the mound of mud that covered the casket. He couldn't begin to summon any words, so he simply stood in the rain, listening to the sound of the rain hitting the mud that marked her resting place.

It was safe to say Raine was angry with the world.

She still didn't understand how someone like her sister could die, how she could be killed. No matter how much she knew that Alexis was dead, she refused to believe it. Seeing no grave had given her a small spark of hope, maybe Alexis was alive. Just in hiding.

But that had all gone to sh*t, once her funeral had been held. The grave now marked the ending of her sister's life. It marked that she wasn't going to come back, that she was actually dead. Raine had no choice but to believe that her sister was actually gone now. No matter how hard she tried to be strong, once she stood in front of the grave, she broke down.

Raine was never the type of girl to cry for anything. But so many tears had fallen from the eyes of the girl who rarely showed emotions.

After the funeral, Raine had spent the rest of the day locked up in Alexis' room. She'd spent so much time with her sister in there, and it had felt so empty without her laugh or smile. Raine had seen Alexis' sketch pad on her bed on top of her pillow and she looked through it. There was one drawing that caught her attention. And there was writing on the back of the page.

I know you've never gotten a drawing from me. But I really wanted to make you a special one. Now you can finally have one Daddy!
- Alexis

It was a sketch of a rose bush that was in the garden. Fresh tears sprung to Raine's eyes and she wiped them away quickly. Alexis hadn't even been able to give the sketch she'd worked so hard on to their father. Her hands clenched into fists in anger and she spent the entire night in the room, not caring if anyone looked for her.

The next day she decided she'd go visit Alexis' grave. The rain that fell from the sky was better suited for the occasion than the day before when it was sunny and calm during the funeral. No one should have to bury someone with the climate that way. No one should have to bury anyone else, period. Raine left the house and made her way to the cemetry where her sister was buried. She wasn't surprised to see her father already there when she arrived and at the sight of him, she remembered the sketch Alexis had made for him.

Raine decided she was going to do what her sister hadn't been able to. She was going to give their father the sketch that Alexis had made just for him. Feeling more tears spring to her eyes, Raine tried her best to blink them back so she didn't start crying again.

She walked closer to her father and the grave. "Daddy?" she asked softly, placing a hand on his shoulder before leaning down to place the cypress she had brought with her - the flower that symbolizes both life and death.

He reached down and took her hand. He knew his daughter was hurting. He'd heard her tears yesterday when they'd gotten home, and as much as he had wanted to comfort her, he couldn't begin to find it either. He had none to give, as much as his spirit had been willing.

"It was hard to leave her alone out here last night," he said softly. "I'm not sure what I expected to find, but I couldn't stay away." He kissed the top of Raine's forehead. "How are you?" he asked.

He understood why she'd come. It was, very likely, for the same reason he had come. He was going to have to force his family to go forward, but he wasn't entirely sure how to do that either. It was another thing he didn't have the answers to. He didn't feel like he had the answers to anything. He was a man that had more money than he'd ever use, more children than anyone had a right to have, more power than most men could begin to even wrap their minds around. And here he was, clueless, and empty.

"I guess I'm okay..." Raine responded in a soft voice, unlike her usual demanding voice.

"I keep hoping this is some joke." she looked up at her father. "That Alexis is still alive and she's just hiding for a while. That the person buried here under her name, isn't her." Raine told him softly. Her wish was never going to come true but she could always hope.

"It's just really hard to believe that she's really gone." she added quietly. Raine hated that her room would be empty now, that she wouldn't be able to see Alexis anymore, or ask her for help with anything like she always did. Her hands clenched in anger at the thought and she wiped her eyes once again.

"Daddy." Raine looked up at him. "Last night I found a sketch that Alexis made for you." she told him.

"I know what you mean," he said. "I noticed it a few days ago. It rather feels like the world stopped turning, doesn't it? I've been told things will get back to normal in time, but I'm not sure it can. And I'm not sure I want it to."

He listened to Raine when she said she'd found a sketch that Alexis had done for him. He looked at her, rather blank at first. "She did?" he asked. Then he smiled. "She used to tell me over and over that she hadn't found the right thing to sketch, and she was so secretive over her sketch books. You'll have to show it to me when we go home. Maybe we should take the best of them and frame them. What do you think?"

"Oh, and Zada mentioned some nonsense this morning about thinking we all needed to try to get together at dinner. She thought perhaps a quiet dinner together might help everyone. I have to tell you, I'm no sure I'm in the mood for food."

"It can't." Raine said softly. "It just can't. Not without Alexis. The only way anything can go back to normal is if she was here. But then again, if she were still here none of this would he happening right now." Her voice was cold and her hands clenched even tighter. No matter how much any one said things would go back to normal, they were wrong. Without her sister, their family wouldn't be the same and that was the worst part of it.

Raine looked at her father and smiled sadly. "She never wanted to show anyone her drawings. I had a hard time getting her to show me them. They were so beautiful, so any different textures and colors to them. It was like they were the real scenery she drew. But she never thought she was that good, that was why she never gave you one. She wanted to make sure it was her best, one that she was really proud of." Raine said softly. "When we get home I'll bring it down. And I'll bring all her sketch pads so we can choose the drawings." She said softly.

"Neither am I." She responded softly, wincing. Raine had barely ate or slept since she found out about Alexis' death. "But maybe she's right. Maybe if we all eat together, we can talk about her and help each other... I don't know, get some closure on what happened?" It was at least worth a shot, though she didn't think it would help them as much as she hoped it would.

"I hope so," he sighed. "We'll move forward. We're D'Eaths. Its what we do. Its important for us to pause and take the time we need, but it's also time now to start to move forward. I keep standing here trying to think of something I've left undone that I can still fix. And there isn't a thing."

He paused. He had a completely new subject, and that one wasn't entirely pleasant either.

"Raine," he said. "I don't know if you got your letter from the Ministry or not, but they're coming. Single witches and wizards are being forced to marry or go to Azkaban.

"I would far rather marry than go to Azkaban. After all, marriage isn't exactly new territory for me. By coincidence, Zada and I have already done so, but it seems it would have made little difference. We would have been forced to do so anyway. This arrangement will, most likely, prove to be very different. It was formed as a business arrangement, and we're both rather skilled at that. We don't intend to change that piece.

"But what we will have to change is that one of the extra guest rooms will need to soon be converted into a nursery for your newest sibling--sometime between now and spring. I probably will add a nanny to the staff by then. If I can find someone I can trust. I...don't seem to be as trusting with people around my children these days, it seems."