Poliakoff, Ciara Morgan

Cec,

I have some questions. Can you please explain why you want her to be a Hufflepuff but its the character's worst fear? How is being a Hufflepuff a worst fear for her? Surely there has to be some reason for your character to be afraid of that. Can you explain that a bit more in your app?

What's the fear of arranged marriages about? That's not a traditional element of British society, not generally speaking. Why is that a fear for her? Its not that it isn't a reasonable fear. Its only that you don't explain it in your app.

You also don't have enough background information. Why does she need to be "the best little pureblood for her father"? There isn't enough information to understand why that is one of her goals in her life. We need to know more about her history. I also don't understand how she can be living with her father but how its unknown who the woman was who really gave birth to her. I need that clarified as well.

Thanks,
k

She's a hufflepuff becuase it is her cannon, she wanted to be like her brother and be in slytherin, so it wasn't a fear for her to be in hufflepuff (WHere her personality fits) it is her worst memory (why it is listed in dementor not boggart)
She isn't afraid of aaranged marriages, she hates them, wants to find someone she loves on her own.. that is stated in the app.
and as stated in the app she was spoild, she doesn't want to disappoint him....

edit the unkown mother is also part of the Cannon

Let me try to rephrase myself.

Ok, this isn't in order but it might correct a lot. You can specify, if you want, a female for her mother. It just isn't something on our canon list. Perhaps it was someone who didn't marry her father. When we developed the canon list, we did not fill in all the gaps because if we did, that would have taken away from some of the members' ability to be a bit creative--within reason, of course.

So, yeah. In this case, you either need to specify that she has a mother or how it is that she doesn't know. Perhaps that her father had several girlfriends and came home to find the baby at his place leaving it up to him to take care of.

Just because that's the OOC framework that you have, doesn't mean you can leave it not making sense IC.

Same with the arranged marriages. You're missing my point. My point was where is the negativity coming from for her with arranged marriages? It isn't something that normally is an issue in England. Why is it a thing for her? Most people in England presume they will have the right to choose their partner. Why is it an issue in her thinking at all?

A child being spoiled doesn't automatically tell me that she has a strong desire to please her father. When I think of a spoiled child, I think of someone very self centered who often doesn't think of others.

The brother is a bit of an undeveloped issue. I don't see it specified how much older he is, and it seems to conflict a bit--that they get along at times and that sometimes he resents the attention she gets. Since he is a Slytherin, how does he really treat her? Unfortunately, their father's heritage is no guide for you since he came from Durmstrang.

My request was that you develop the character more on the app, Cec. I want to see more development of the character in the app itself.

kaidens app

here it is also stated that the mother is unknonwn and has no explination... it also explians Kaiden's reasoning for resenting his sister, yet Ciara fallows him around.

First, I appreciate your wanting to connect the character to Kaiden. That is something that we generally want to do.

If there is information in any application that helps your app, you need to actually do the legwork it takes to put that in your app and not presume I will go read someone else's work just in order to understand your app. I need you doing the necessary work in your app to make it strong enough to stand on its own, even if it is for someone who will be related to an existing character.

I am not Selwyn. I don't look at apps in the same way or sort them in the same exact ways. I also do not compare the application of one player to another. I have asked you to make corrections to your app.

You have two weeks to either improve the app so that I can approve it, or it will be moved to storage until you do choose to work on it.

Its been edited but any admins SHOULD look at and sort apps in the same way as a way of fomality so stuff like this doesn't happen where one admin is asking a player to provide information that another was not asked to provide. and here you have asked me to add info about Kaiden where Hit was asked to delete info about Ciara from Kaidens app for the same reason i did not put any of Kaiden in Ciara's.

I understand it would sometimes be nice if all the admins thought exactly the same way and wrote the same way and made decisions in the same way. But, realistically, writing is somewhat of an individualized, creative process, which is why people like this sort of rp. And since the admins are individuals, it just isn't possible for us to think exactly the same way.

You've got a start. Let me know when the rest of the corrections are done.

YOU ALL NEED TO CREATE GUIDELINES STATING WHAT YOU SHOULD BE LOOKING FOR!

all of the information i have been asked to provide and i can provide has been put into the application. except for informaion about Kaiden which if i do provide could be considered GMing

edit:
and another thing, Half the stuff i put in this app will not be used in roleplaying because a character creates its self I do not create the character. The onlythings that will stay true for little miss Ciara is that she fallows her brother around, doesn't want an aranged marriage (because she wants to chose for herself, not be chosent for her) and she is bubblely like a hufflepuff.

There's no need to be like that, Cec. You're not going to get anywhere by disrespecting the admins.

Between you and Kaiden, figure out what the mother was named and edit it into the app when you've got it figured.

For me, I'd like a touch more on the appearance. Also, per allegiances - is she neutral?