The air of the wedding was dying, the last of the candles burning out. But there was warmth about the place that made it seem as if it were destined to continue. Cerelia reached for her wand from the purse that she had set down on the table when she had come to sit with Augustus. She lifted the Yew wand aloft and with a quick flick, replenished the wax of the candles above herself and Augustus, allowing more light to slip over them from above. She pushed her and behind her ear and leaned forward, her elbows on the table, her chin in her hands, as she took in the scenery and the curious way that two people managed to merge in a way with each other that made them one instead of two separate beings.
As a child, Cerelia had found very little love between her parents, so much so that she wondered what kept them fused at all. There was obscene, intense loathing and evenly matched obsession and the pair seemed to live to torture each other. Talia was tortured by Adolphus and it was not until she had died that he realised the error of his ways, that had he loved his wife he would have kept her and had her with him. Of course this hindsight did not change the way he treated his children and Cerelia especially continued to set his teeth on edge. She had been dealt the back of his hand many times and her cheekbones would often seize up on reflex if he so much as raised a hand to her, in kindness or otherwise.
Cerelia was her mother in Adolphus’ eyes but his folly was in forgetting that she was also his child also. She was a potent mix of Talia and Adolphus Rookwood and would, ultimately, come to crucify all that Adolphus had worked for; and he should have known it.
Stilling, Cerelia looked at Augustus with quiet curiosity. Oh, so he knew. Then he was no fool. Only a special kind of man could invoke such fear in his children that his own flesh did not trust him. Her brothers were too foolish and depended on Adolphus to keep their names pure and good but Adolphus knew Cerelia did not trust him, he knew she was afraid of him. The business that Adolphus got involved in did no one good, half of the time. It seemed as if Augustus Rookwood had experienced the erratic side of Adolphus Avery and Cerelia pitied Augustus, suddenly herself feeling rather frail at the extended thought of her father.
“Trust him,” Cerelia murmured, a sly smirk tickling her lips upwards, “but don’t.”
The House Elf returned with her wine at that moment and Cerelia sat back to allow the creature room enough to put the glass down on the table. She reached into her bag for the handful of coins she’d stuffed in amongst the other articles and produced a Sickle which she handed to the Elf. The Elf’s eyes widened, a bizarre picture if you care to think of it, and it peeked at Augustus before scuttling away quickly for seeming fear that the man would take it away from him. Cerelia smirked again and shook her head, turning back around to Augustus as she took the glass into her hands and brought it to her lips.
“As brief as they come, yes.” Cerelia replied after swallowing.
She placed the glass back down on the table and her fingers found the flower. She busied her fingers for a moment as Augustus fiddled with his cigar, and in that space of time, Cerelia managed to tie the flower into her hair. She smiled, content, before taking it out, deciding against having it there. She took her wand out from behind her ear and placed it down on the table, pushing the flower there to replace the wand instead. Her smile was brighter this time, her decision having been made, and she hastily tucked her wand back into her bag, making sure it was in arms reach still but not entirely exposed.
Cerelia turned in her chair and brought her arm up to rest on the back of it. She curled her fingers into her palm and leaned her temple against her knuckles, reaching with her spare hand to grasp the wine and bring it to rest down on the chair by her hip. Her eyebrows rose as Augustus spoke, sensing suddenly the change in the conversation. His opinion was not as fancy free as hers. She was idealistic where weddings were concerned. Nothing was ever anything else but perfect – especially Kendall and Athena’s. It seemed odd to her, suddenly, that it was any other way but on reflection, upon thinking about what she’d seen, Augustus was quite right. That said, it didn’t mean Cerelia agreed with him.
“Misery isn’t something to be championed, Augustus,” she spoke softly and raised her eyebrows briefly before elaborating. “We have all seen enough of it.” Though in this instance, she referred to her mother, the only memories that Cerelia held of the woman ruined by what had happened to Talia. Cerelia smiled, pleased to find that Augustus was happy about the union. “Kendall never was going to conform to expectations, was he?” Cerelia responded. “And that’s so good. I mean, it proves something, doesn’t it? It’s not all about power or impressive dowries.” Cerelia laughed a little. “I think we’re all after a little bit of happiness, aren’t we? Kendall and Athena have proved that. I mean, it means, now, that more people won’t be put off of going after it.”
Cerelia laughed at Augustus’ last admission and shook her head before taking a sip of wine. “Yes,” she murmured with a comparative grin. “There have been some interesting facial expressions today.”
Cerelia’s nose wrinkled immediately once the subject changed to her own eventual wedding. She shook her head and looked away, off into the middle distance, before shaking her head once more and shuddering at what she knew was eventually to become of her. Well, she didn’t know exactly. There were enough options though unless she decided to pave her own way. Cerelia had only ever seen that emerald glow on the end of a wand once though and it had never been pointed at her. That was what she expected though, if she ever dared go against what Adolphus wanted of her.
“Do we have to have this discussion?” Cerelia asked, her voice laden with dismay mixed with reluctance. She looked at Augustus through one eye and smiled a little before reopening the other and bringing her glass to her lips. “Merlin...No, actually. No, he hasn’t. He threatens me with my German cousin, Laurie, every other day.” Cerelia shuddered again, at the mere thought of the snivelling toad. “I’d rather marry a Muggle. He’s disgusting. Though, his mother is gloriously beautiful. How she created that is... beyond me.” Cerelia looked at her wine, as if it held the answers.
She looked up at Augustus again and felt her cheeks heat up before admitting, interestingly readily, the short version of what had occurred during her nigh seventeen years in which Adolphus could make a betrothal.
“It’s strange because I don’t think there is anything wrong with me, per se. There’s bound to be something that could do with improving but isn’t that always the way? It’s just ... it always seemed strange to me because for my brothers it was quite easy to provide them with wives. I know it is different but it is as if, with me, somehow it becomes a mountainous, impossible task. He’d always blame me too, my father; as if there was something I always did that ruined everything, that somehow it was my fault. He didn’t like, I don’t think, that I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t sell myself and pick up a place in a well-to-do family somewhere. He couldn’t convince anyone to ‘take me’ either – as if I am some sort of burden.
The dowries are always plentiful, apparently. That is more than enough to have the families convinced. But then they see me. I’m never pretty enough or blonde enough,” Cerelia picked up a lock of hair to demonstrate her incredulity at this observation. “Or I was too skinny, I looked as if I might die at the drop of the hat, my nose was too big, my feet too small or my hips simply aren’t large enough to bear ‘my darling boy’s strong heirs.’” Cerelia sniffed disdainfully and licked her lips, wiping them red with her sudden anger. “Not good enough for anyone.”
Cerelia laughed a little, a bitter, cold laugh, and kicked out her feet, wriggling them free from her shoes and letting the heels fall to the floor.
“There was this one gentleman though. He was lovely. He said, to my face, that I was the daughter of a mad, German whore that didn’t deserve to do so much as polish my father’s shoes and that I would be a perfect little ... oh, what was it he said? Oh that was it! I would be the perfect little hussy for him and his friends to have their fun with. He and his family were perhaps the only ones interested in me. I was a little girl, then. I was convinced I was a young lady, of course, but still a little girl. Needless to say, he won’t be able to make use of a wanton hussy ever. My father had to pay thousands of galleons in damages and I was sent to live with my grandparents for my trouble. Though, of course, not before I was justly punished,” Cerelia nodded her head, pursing her lips together, imitating as best she could some sort of fool that believed what they were doing was right.
Her hand came up to rest on the back of her neck and she winced as she ran her fingers over the raised skin of the scar that wound from her neck to her ribcage on the left side of her torso. Adolphus was nothing if but thorough and he had made sure his daughter, then but a little girl as Cerelia had said, knew she had done wrong. That was what successfully broke her, cowed her, made her submissive and allowed him to create her as he wished, like he had done her mother.
But Cerelia was stronger than her mother in many ways. She did not complain but she remembered. She remembered well enough all of the pain he had dealt her. There would come a time, she had promised herself as she allowed the House Elves to try and men her broken skin, when he would know the ramifications of what he had done to his daughter; that instead of creating a marriage-worthy, submissive brood-mare, he’d created his own worst enemy. But she would lie in wait until that time, until such times as she could hurt him the most.
Cerelia dropped her hand from her neck and looked at her fingers, expecting to see blood all over her hands as she had found that night. She was relieved to find no such thing, overjoyed in fact, and it was only then that she realised what exactly she had confided in Augustus. But he knew the score, didn’t he? He knew what went on amongst Pureblood families. Everyone did. That didn’t mean they spoke of it though. It was an open secret amongst Death Eaters and old Pureblood families. The Cruciatus was a favourite, as ever, but Adolphus preferred Cutting Curses with dirty wands – wands that brought disease with every spell, infection. They all suffered, all the young ladies who failed and the gentlemen that did not please as they should have done. No one spoke of it though, for fear of someone telling the one that doled out the punishment.
“Please don’t tell my father.” She whispered, her voice strained, her eyes suddenly wide with paralysing fear. “I did not mean to express what I did to you. You asked ... I ... I spoke too much.” Cerelia ducked her head and brought her hand to her face, her thumb and forth finger rubbing at her temples.
“In marriage,” Cerelia looked up. “You’re meant to be free, aren’t you? In this marriage, between these people, they’re free. Free to love, free to lust unabated after each other, free to do what they will in the comfort of knowing that the other is always there. You’re meant to be safe. Never before has this been shown to me. Kendall and Athena are more than just proof of the advantages of defiance. For me they are proof that something good can come of binding yourself to someone else, irrevocably. Since I was old enough to understand, marriage has been presented to me in the foulest of ways and eyes have been on me, waiting for me to crudely sprout and produce all of the womanly aspects expected. I don’t want marriage any other way than this; but if I am to be honest, I see no future for me in this sense. Kendall and Athena have the Gods on their side; it’s more than just luck and will. Not all of us shall be as lucky as the new Mrs. Rookwood. And forgive me, for I envy her. Not for her husband but for how safe and loved she is. Truly, that is the final prize ... is it not? There is a reason why Pureblood women busy themselves with dresses and mindless tea parties. It’s all a way to cope isn’t it? Knowing that when their husband gets home they’ll be berated for not being pregnant, hounded for only producing girls, murdered for not being able to carry a child at all. Merlin help us.”
“Excuse me my bitterness,” she murmured finally, looking upon Augustus was pleading eyes. “This is heaven, where otherwise we women would traverse in hell.”