Hey Eugene, I just have a couple of suggestions before we sort this. I'm sorry this is a wall of text, but it's shorter to read than it looks.
Firstly, in your appearance, could you please rewrite the first sentence so it's more of an opinion? You could say something like "Eugene thinks he's handsome", or even "Eugene is stereotypically handsome" because stereotypically modifies handsome so it means a certain type of look (and the rest of your description supports that). However, when you're RPing, different characters will have different opinions of your character's look and we want to leave them the opportunity to make their own decisions about how attractive he is. I'm sure you'd get annoyed if I was like "My character is so beautiful!" and you were like "Actually she reminds me of my cousin and I am repulsed."
Secondly, in your history time at Hogwarts, you get a bit vague, which I'm going to assume is a problem on our end, because the site history can be hard to follow sometimes and also your history before Hogwarts is very good.
If Eugene is in fifth year, then he will have lived through quite a lot of interesting things happening at Hogwarts. He would have been one of the first students to attend school with werewolves and vampires "out in the open", he'd have been at school when Voldemort was killed, and been able to watch a tri-wizard tournament, he'd have been there when Death Eaters took over the school and started teaching the students Dark Arts, he'd have lived through Gellart Grindalwald's short tenure as principal just last year and this year he would have had to contend with the "green itch" - a wizarding illness.
So I'll give you the opportunity to incorporate any of that now, so you can do all your edits at once and start out with a richer background for your character right from the start. It's not mandatory, we do only want a couple of paragraphs and yours are fine, but I got the impression that you're the kind of person who might like to be a bit more detailed but couldn't find the information. So I thought I'd provide it.
Also, I understand that English isn't your first language (and you're doing really well) but could you run your application through a spell checker? There is an online one here. Also, a lot of browsers have dictionary apps or addons that you can download dictionaries for and switch to for spellcheck. So that's something to think about if it might help you; I don't know if it would. I use Firefox with the British English Dictionary.
by Eugene Regan Thu Dec 20, 2012 9:49 am
