An Update on the World

In Pureblood circles, it is a family no longer in existence but still we remember them, albeit faintly in our minds, because of the young woman that survived.

We all remember the tale of the Moors who were so dramatically killed in freak flood in their house; though even at the time there was something rather sinister about the whole event. Still, our wonderfully unobservant populous didn’t think anything of it – I mean, why would be? Accidents happen every day right? Of course! They weren’t murdered were they? It was just a freak accident. Of course! So it’s easy to believe that the death of their daughter, their eldest child, their orphaned child, was a mere accident as well, yes? But of course!

Now, it isn’t in my nature to be so controversial and though we shouldn’t talk ill of the dead I can’t help but think there’s something more to this. But with the amount of things that actually happened to the girl, I suppose to die must have been the icing on the cake of melodrama she and her little band of friends had been baking for goodness only knows how many years. But yes, it is a terribly sad event to lose a Pureblood and though I am sure she will be missed, no doubt there will be another teenager angst-ridden enough to be just as dramatic if not more so in the way he or she conducts their life.

Meanwhile, someone else has gone off the deep-end. Typical with these people, isn’t it?

Thoar.. Thaor ... Throar ... Bah! That man. Yes. That one. The one that was Deputy Minister/Death Eater/Good-Guy/Bad-Guy/Reallyconfusingimpossibletospellnaem Elldir.... apparently he went mad! Now, I’m not one to gossip but my sources have told me that he went absolutely, completely and utterly bonkers before running off, wand blazing, to kill his friends. Now, I don’t know about you but to me it sounds like a side-effect of working underneath Robert Lupin. One must agree to the fact that he is utterly to die for but our Minister of Magic is a bit of a tyrant and now we can see the after-effects of it! Truly terrible.

But – oh! Guess what comes next? Another death. Yes, I know. It’s getting boring now, isn’t it? All this death. Never mind the fact that these people aren’t dying of that terrible Itch thing we’ve got going around. I’m fine, though, thank you for your concern, dear readers. Now, I am saying it first here, people: He will be back. He’ll return like He Who Must Not Be Named and the Chosen One. He’ll return like Anakin Skywalker did as Darth Vader though hopefully with less prosthetics and a more YOLO kind of attitude. All of the aforementioned examples did lead terribly depressing lives.

But yes, terribly sad. Rest In Peace, dear friend. May the Death Eaters that loathe you so avenge your death by murdering the Lupins.

In lighter news –

It’s Gerald Humdinger’s one-hundred and twenty-fifth birthday so Happy Birthday to Gerald!

Sadie Winkleton’s bitch had a litter of pups so owl her if any of you want a Labradoodle – keep in mind some of them can be as dumb as pig sh- err.. poop. Pig poop. Yes.

And finally:

Twelve Muggles died in mysterious circumstances in Greater Bumblsquee after their train derailed. The Muggle Prime Minister has questions he wants to ask and we all desperately hope that he’s allowed to ask them because we all know how they get when they can’t ask questions. They throw tantrums and run to their rooms and we don’t see them for days. Terribly sad. However there were reports of a mysterious cloud floating overhead. It was possibly a black cloud – I mean, to be fair, all black clouds are mysterious as you’re never sure when it’s going to rain! Some have been claiming it was Death Eaters. I disagree. I say: it was the Order of the Phoenix. Yes. You heard it. The Order. Corrupt and now doing deeds, thirty years ago, would have been a Death Eater’s idea of a Friday night out. It could also be that it was just a tragic accident. I doubt it.

Also, Shacklebot has been sighted. Again. May I ask: How old is this man? Surely he, like everyone else seemingly, should be dead too, by now? I think he was at some point wasn’t he? Ah, well. What does one expect? He’s also conveniently had his name released as the Headmaster for Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Good luck kids!

Have a fantastic summer my loyal readers!
Lots of love,
Araminta Honeysuckle.

Also, Shacklebot has been sighted. Again. May I ask: How old is this man? Surely he, like everyone else seemingly, should be dead too, by now? I think he was at some point wasn’t he? Ah, well. What does one expect? He’s also conveniently had his name released as the Headmaster for Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Good luck kids!

hahahaha