Broken Battle Cry

A single tear rolled down Mira's porcelain cheek. She was standing on the doorstep of the boys dorm labeled 'Seventh Years', her body unwilling to raise her hand to knock. For the first time in her life, Mira was about to tell Elijah that she couldn't see him anymore. And the worst part was this was the first time it would mean something. She had to give back the ring that had been sitting so comfortably on her left hand all summer and with it the promise of forever. For the first time in all these years Mira finally saw that there was no way they would leave this without a broken heart. But her heart already felt broken.

Mira wiped the tear gingerly away from her face, making herself a promise that that was the last one that would ever fall for the Bulgarian. She had to cut him out, forget their makeshift romance completely and pretend they never moved on beyond their hatred. That would be the only option to stop the majority of the pain. If Mira let it consume her like it threatened to she would never get over him. They would never get married. Never kiss again. She would never wake up to him beside her, the sun shining on his sleeping face. The image was too powerful and Mira almost broke again. Wincing, her hand raised and knocked loudly twice on the dorm door.

Without thinking Mira drew back a step, not wanting to face the perfect man who would open the door. This was painfully alike the time she had arrived at his doorstep after he had been obliviated. That had been one of the happiest moments in her life. When she realized the new hope that Elijah Krum might be able to really love her and they could find happiness. Now that feeling was gone leaving only regret of ever falling this hard for him. Despite the way he saw her as a helpless plaything, Mira had always been partly in control. She had always known exactly what she was doing and had been able to stop at any point if she choose. Now? There was little to no chance of getting out alive if it didn't stop at once. Too much. Too perfect. Too dependent. Mira's heart dropped to her knees as the door swung open.

Hogwarts was much different than Elijah remembered. He hadn’t liked it much when he’d first arrived but with Grindlewald in charge of the entire world (or at least, it felt like it) he found Hogwarts a rather stifling place to be. The murder of his great-grandfather was insult enough without having the man leading Britain as he did. Elijah had yet to write home to his father or to his step-mother. He wasn’t sure what was expected of him. He had enough pages, each one holding a line or two inquiring as to the health of Irina and the child swelling within her. He’d sent countless letters to his own children regarding their health and their schooling and he’d sent a dozen or more to Harry who was still trying to get the wedding plans up together, a sharp contrast to the man he was writing to who did little more than complain about trivialities.

A lot of Elijah’s time had been taken up with thoughts of his children. Fauve and Thierry he knew to be safe, well and learning much more under Micah than they would have in the schools that he knew Chase would have sent them to had Viktor not retrieved them. Thoughts of Chase were also in abundance but the emotions that fuelled those musings were more destructive than heartfelt. Elijah’s loathing for the woman he had once thought of fondly had increased ten-fold over the summer. He knew as well as Viktor did that what had spurred Chase’s actions were maternal instincts but now what motivated her regarding Kitty was a mixture of that and the overwhelming need to spite Elijah. He spared many a thought to his daughter, knowing that her first birthday was right around the corner. Far away, for sure, but close enough to be worrisome. Elijah wondered whether he should bother buying her anything at all. He knew Chase would be rid of it as soon as she saw it but he was also sure that if he neglected to send something then she would be even angrier. Redheads, and women in general, were bothersome. Sometimes Elijah wondered why he bothered but he soon remembered why.

He remembered when he saw Mira - the one constant in his life. He was grateful for her, beyond grateful in fact. At present she was a little light in his life that kept him chained to reality. She kept him drawing, though he wasn’t always necessarily drawing her. He was eager to get going with the day just to see her and that was what made the situation to come all the more tragic.

Emerging from the bathroom with his jeans slung low on his hips; Elijah ruffled his wet hair with a fluffy towel he’d pulled from the rail after getting out of the shower. Nachash was curled around his upper arm and Ali had settled across his collar bone. The tattoo on his back was receiving the late afternoon sun that was flooding in through the charmed windows and he closed his eyes, enjoying the warmth of it. Elijah reopened them after a few minutes and dumped the towel into the hamper. He then leaned over and grabbed his book off of his bed. Elijah straightened up once more and crossed the room, thumbing through the book in search of the page he’d been scanning earlier.

Just as Elijah was about to return to the bathroom to retrieve his shirt though, there was a knock at the door. Elijah frowned momentarily and looked about himself before closing the book and chucking it onto Kendall’s bed. Elijah crossed the room once more and turned the key in the lock before wrenching it open, only to find the woman he’d been thinking about standing on the doorstep.

“Hey,” Elijah smiled brightly at her. “What’s going on, love?”

Everything about this man was perfect. Just seeing him made Mira want to do nothing more than jump into his arms and kiss those lips that seemed to be made for hers. Instead she held her ground. Oh his voice, it called her so strongly. She could listen to it forever. But that was just why she had to get away. Without even meaning to he was ensnaring her, he had been for 17 years. Trying to focus on his face and not his naked upper half Mira managed to get out a sentence. "Hey. Sorry for barging in but I need to talk to you." It didn't sound quite like herself, but at least it wasn't a full out stutter.

If there was one thing you could say about Mira Anderson it was that she could keep herself composed. Even at her most angry and upset it is nearly impossible to tell anything is wrong. But at this moment Mira was almost at the breaking point. Only years of keeping a blank face and a smile for society were holding back the tears that so wanted to come. But tears would be saved for her dorm later, when no one could hear her. No matter how much Mira had changed, the belief that pain was weakness was still firmly planted in her. If someone like Athena found out how much the Bulgarian meant to her she would never be able to live it down. People knew she loved him. And people, mainly Chase, thought she was crazy for it. But if she had learned anything from her sister it was that when you loved people you got hurt. Elijah was becoming too risky.

Mira opened and closed her mouth, unsure of what else to say. Half of her felt like spilling everything she was thinking out in one big gasp of air and half of her just wanted to remain frozen, only speaking when necessary. The coward in her one out with a landslide. She didn't want to tell him goodbye for good. Not at all. But it was something that just needed to be done now. The necessity of it didn't mean it would hurt any less.

Talking was never a good sign. It was like the kiss of death. At her words, her tone and the expression on her face, Elijah blanched. He swallowed hard and took a step back from the door, opening it a little wider so she could come in. Once she had passed over the threshold, Elijah closed the door and turned around. He licked his lips, wondering what it was she wanted, but instead of saying something he merely shook his head and strode across the room to his trunk that he’d left open while he’d minced around in the dorm showering and the like. Elijah plucked a shirt out from the trunk and pushed his arms into it. He didn’t button it up straight away. Instead he turned to look at his fiancée, a small wistful smile on his lips.

Elijah ran his fingers through his hair and slowly the smile slipped from his face. Mira was stricken, he could see that, but by what he did not know. He wanted to fix it but he didn’t have a clue what was wrong so there was little chance he was going to be able to fix whatever was wrong with her at this present moment in time. Instead Elijah plonked himself down on his trunk, deciding to leave her standing, knowing that her position above him depicted the power she had over the situation considering her words. Elijah didn’t want to upset her by speaking without prior thought. No, he wanted to keep her happy at all costs. This woman was one he now had the genuine intention to marry and he wanted to keep her at her happiest. He wanted her to be the most happy.

It was just a shame that until the inevitable reconciliation, they would both be the most miserable.

“So what did you want to talk about?” Elijah asked gently, his fingers flicking against his mother’s locket that hung around his neck with a number of other necklaces such as Stelladora’s engagement ring on a golden chain and a locket that held pictures of not only Fauve and Thierry but of Kitty and of Alice and Mira. Elijah’s hands slowly curled around that locket in particular and he looked at Mira carefully, the worry within him reflecting in his eyes.

Mira made her way into the dorm consciously. Even though she practically lived in this room with Eli she now felt like an outsider in his little world. The room itself seemed to smell like a combination of Elijah and Kendall. Her two most frequent partners. This wasn't exactly helpful to her willpower to stay away from the Krum. He sat down at looked up at Mira, clearly listening. It was strange to see him listening like that. Most of the time when Mira tried to talk Eli was either preparing for battle or just spacing out. This interest in what she was saying clearly showed that he knew this was important. Did he suspect? No, he couldn't even imagine this happening could he? Mira had never even dreamed of something like this before. She didn't know what to say at all. Everything she had rehearsed in her head was way out the window. Taking a deep breath she began.

"I can't be with you anymore. This is just so different from anything that I'm used to and I can't handle it. You aren't the same person you used to be." You're better she finished in her head. If he only wasn't so goddamn perfect she wouldn't be doing this right now. It wasn't the things that Chase had told her that were driving her away. Telling her that he was a bad person. Not at all. When he was an ass she kept her head but when he was so lovely she became a monster. An out of control, head over heels in lover monster. And no matter how much he cared for her and respected her he would never love her. There would always be another girl who was prettier on his doorstep who would tempt him away. And wasn't any life Mira wished for.

"Chase whoever you want. Your obligations are done." Mira could only imagine how happy he would be when the news really sunk in. He could finally go to his father and say that she didn't want him. Finally be free from his duties to his family and the pureblood name. And as he went back to Chase or a girl of similar repulsive kindness and blood status Mira would now have to pretend not to care. She was giving up any claim she might have once had on him. He would forget her before the week was done and be on with his life, this she was sure of.

It was the second time a woman had turned her back on him. Elijah felt the blood drain from his face just as it had when Chase had walked away. This time though there wasn’t an escape route. There wasn’t someone else waiting on the other side for him to have in his bed for a while. He was stuck, in short, and there was a woman between his self and the door. As much as he wanted to walk away he couldn’t. It was all being made difficult for him. Elijah groped for the packet of cigarettes on his bed and he hastily lit one, as if it would make any difference to his plummeting mood. Elijah blinked slowly as he rolled the cigarette between his fingers, bringing his lips to it every few seconds in order to get his head in order. It gave him something to concentrate on. It took away his boggled thoughts. She was leaving. Fantastic. Fabulous. Fine. That was absolutely, completely and utterly fine.

Rising from where he was at, Elijah turned around and strode over to the windows, unknowingly giving her the full view of his half of the tattoo. To be in her presence knowing she wasn’t his anymore was beyond cruel yet he couldn’t bring himself to shout at her. It would just have to be a case of acknowledging her request ad accepting it. Slowly, Elijah began to nod. He closed his eyes, wishing that the words she spoke were lies, before turning slightly and gesturing towards the door. “Go on then,” he murmured, his voice barely loud enough to be heard. He was unsettlingly calm, as if what this was, was nothing more than the inevitable, an obvious end. “Do have a brilliant time doing whatever you feel like doing. I wish you the best of luck. I do however ask you this,” Elijah turned abruptly and fully, his arm held aloft, allowing the smoke from the cigarette to drain away behind him.

“Who on earth have you been speaking to? I promised you a courtship didn’t I? I promised you something proper. Admittedly I have been lax but what on earth do you want Mira? Roses?” Elijah snapped his fingers and a bouquet of roses appeared in his hand. He scoffed momentarily and tossed them over his shoulder. The roses melted away against the wall and he continued. “Jewellery?” He flicked the necklaces around his neck and rolled his fingers, showing her the rings that clung there. “Or someone else. Not me at all.” Elijah smirked humourlessly. “Of course. Of course. Are we going to do this? This bitter, twisted replay of exactly what happened before? You’ve been speaking to her haven’t you?” Elijah laughed coldly. “Oh of course you have. Who else would it be? That bitter, twisted little girl and that stupid, stupid courseless boy - neither of whom have a brain cell between them. I like it. I like it a lot. You really show independent thinking there. Look at me now and tell me that you don’t love me. Do it. I dare you. If you can then I might consider letting you go. Might.”

Mira felt the knife plunge into her heart. Involuntarily she took a step back with the hurt of his words, flinching as the roses hit the wall behind him. Tears stung her eyes but still she refused to let them out. Mira wasn't sure what she had been expecting - certainly not a clean break - but it still hurt a lot more than she thought it would. As if any confrontation they had ever had Mira had left without any battle wounds. But this would be worse, oh so much worse because they couldn't just kiss and make up like every other time. Mira knew to stop their endless cycle of pain and heartbreak their relationship had to be completely demolished so she wouldn't be able to crawl back and try to make up with what was left. At first she thought this would be the hardest task she had ever been given but as she listened to his words her sadness was quickly ebbing away into anger. Mira wasn't a possession, she could leave if she wanted, and no way in hell was she lying about not loving him. Saying that would be the biggest lie she would ever tell.

"F*** you!" Mira cried out. She ripped Elijahs ring off her ring finger and took several strides forward closing the distance between them. They were close now, close enough that she could lean up and kiss him easily if she wanted. Her face got dangerously near his "I don't want your jewels." she half whispered-half growled. "I don't want your anything." Lies lies and more lies. Mira wanted everything from him and more than anything she wanted to kiss him. It would be so easy for either one to make their move, it was almost as if she was taunting him. "As far as independent thinking goes, how's this? I do what I want. I want what I need. And I don't need you." Mira backed up, realizing that she was letting her temper take her a little farther than she wanted. She didn't want to fight, as fights always lead to making up. But the Anderson woman in her was programed to turn this into a battle, not a breakup. 

Mira backed up further, anger subsiding every step away she was from the Bulgarian. "I don't need you" she said again, barely a whisper this time, as if only trying to convince herself that the words were true. Because she knew she did need Elijah, and that was exactly the problem. Loving someone like him was a danger she wasn't willing to take any more. Better to pretend like she didn't care about him. Mira couldn't even imagine what her life would be like without Elijah. Would things return to like before they had re-committed to the betrothal? The only change would be the tattoo displayed across her back. She would need to look up how to remove it, she realized with sadness. In her retreated state Miras eyes were shining with sadness and regret. She wondered if Elijah would even notice.