I Only Wish To Survive

Emmett reached down and grabbed the bottle of water, lifting it to his lips and gulping down a few swallows, for the lights they had placed on him did start to heat him up after awhile, as well as the fact that he had been playing for a long time and few tips had found their way into the guitar case lying open at the bottom of the small stage. It was disheartening- he was already bumming it out as it was, and he was trying to save the world.. He needed to eat.

“Thank you all for listening. This is my last song. It’s called The Times They Are A-Changing. I hope you enjoy.” He set down the water bottle at the bottom of the stool he was sitting on and adjusted his mic, before quickly adjusting the clip on his guitar. He bent his head, closing his eyes and he began to move his fingers singing. This song meant a lot to him, the world was drastically changing and it seemed he could do nothing. He felt as though he really were drowning and he could not help but display all of his emotions of fear and regret and desperation as he sang. It was the only time he really did shown any emotions at all.

The song ended but you would not have known it, as no one really acknowledged him. He bent his head and sighed before lifting it again and speaking into the microphone. “Thank you.” He unclipped his guitar and grabbed it by the neck, bending to grab the bottle of water before walking across the stage and hopping down. He brushed aside the tips, a few sickles and set his guitar inside, scooping up the coins and slipping them into his pocket.

He clicked his guitar case closed, grabbed the handle and stood. He strode over to the bar and rapped his knuckles on them, and they delivered him an iced tea, as he always got after he ended his shift. He leaned over and rested his guitar case against the bar, reaching up to run a hand through his perpetually messy hair as he slumped in his stool. Oh boy.

Addison had been sitting in her room all day long, free at last but unable to so much as move. She didn't know what do with herself. She could eat, but the moment she tried to, the hunger completely vanished. She tried to sleep, but her eyes refused to close, staring up at the ceiling as she feverishly wondered where her parents had disappeared to. This was not good. The letter revealed nothing and they would die before they made any attempt to contact her unless absolutely necessary. What if this all was going to last longer than three months? What if she was going to be left at the Leaky Cauldron forever? Who would pay her tuition for Hogwarts? Where the hell would she live until then? Where would she get the money? She couldn't get a job. She didn't know how to do anything except clean.

Oh Merlin, what if she had to become a maid? These thoughts plagued her all the way down to the ground level of the Leaky Cauldron, past the bar and into a chair at the corner. She sat in that spot for nearly an hour, forcing herself to concentrate on other people even as the skin under her fingernail bled from all the times she'd picked it. She was going to die in this place. She was sure of it.

Addison resigned herself to the fact - wryly thinking that maybe all that rationality disappeared when there was no incentive for it. Her parents had disappeared somewhere. She'd only bothered trying so that when she turned eighteen, she would be able to disappear somewhere herself. Yet here she sat, already having had a taste of that and it wasn't beginning to look like such a good idea.

Addison sighed and dropped her forehead to the table, tiredly closing her eyes. The music had been playing for a long while now but it was only once she let her eyes close and her mind go blank that she was finally able to hear his voice. And slowly, she allowed herself to relax - concentrating on the song and nothing else. She let his voice wash over him and sighed, finally forcing herself to sit up straight.

All this panicking was stupid. She'd lived through worse. All she had to do was breathe and concentrate.

Yet her eyes were drawn to the stage as the song drew to a close. She was expecting some acknowledgment. Anything that could get her to stop thinking was brilliant, in her opinion. Yet no one threw him so much as a glance. Addison shuffled in her seat and her eyebrows rose as he hopped off the stage and made his way towards the bar. She wanted to yell at him to be embarrassed, why wasn't he embarrassed when Addison would have been dying a little already if everyone ignored her like that?

Oh wait, everyone already did. Addison wasn't quite sure as to why she stood up. Perhaps that uncharacteristic flash of mental humor distracted her but then, she was making her way to the bar - nearly glaring at the back of the boy's head.

Addison dropped into the seat beside him, not once considering that maybe it was dangerous talking to strangers for no reason other than to demand why they weren't embarrassed. She didn't quite do that, faltering a little as she realized that she was indeed sitting right next to him. A small frown flitted across her lips.and then she was speaking.

That was a lovely song, perhaps would have been a fitting thing to say. And somehow, that was what came out of her mouth, her voice a little hoarse. Perhaps it was a subconscious reaction to watching him slump in his seat but she felt that irresistible urge to be nice to him when no one else even bothered to glance at him.

The barman had become almost a friend to Emmett, really, since Emmett had taken more shifts and most of them coincided with the barman's schedule- so he and Marlen had become rather good acquaintances, and Marlen loooved to push Emmett's buttons. He strode over as Emmett drank his tea, wiping down the bar with a rag.

"'ey mate," he said in his thich Irish accent, "I might 'ave to frow yeh out if this keeps up much longer. There's going to be a riot in 'ere wif all of yer adoring friends." Emmett looked up at Marlen, a tired, exasperated expression taking over her face. Marlen raised his hands up, the rag dangling from one of his hands. "Whoa there! Easy mate! You're scaring me!" he teased.

"Marlen, one of these days, you'll realized you're not that funny," Emmett said in his low voice. "And your accent makes it so no one can take you seriously." From his exposure to this joker, Emmett was slowly but surely developing some sort of a sense of humor. He had never been one to taunt, or joke, or jest, or be anything but serious.. He was learning.

"Oho!" Marlen announced, whistling jauntily, his eyes twinkling as he bounced from one foot to another. "Emmett! Gettin' snappy! Don't let your fangirls hear that, they might be disheartened to 'ear your not all love and peace-"

A girl plopped into the chair next to Emmett and Marlen shut up. He stared at the girl, as though wondering if he had actually summoned a fangirl. His eyebrows flew into his hair at her words and Emmett tilted his head towards her. "Thank you," he stated. There was silence and Marlen cleared his throat. "Mm. Anything I can get fer yeh, mum?"

As soon as the words left her mouth, Addison found herself under the scrutiny of two complete strangers - well, maybe not scrutiny. They looked just as bewildered as she felt. She blinked once, her gaze flitting from the barkeep to the boy and she felt herself relax a little as he responded. Addison shot him a little smile. It was beginning to seem like this hadn't been such a good idea, after all and just for a second, she allowed herself to entertain the possibility that she was starting to lose it.

Addison internally scoffed at the idea. She was good at compartmentalizing. She could rationalize this completely stupid idea if she wanted to. Yes, that was possible.

It took roughly three seconds for this train of thought to begin and then come to a satisfying conclusion and by then, the barkeep was speaking. Except, Addison had to stare for several seconds before it finally occurred to her that maybe the barkeep wasn't referring to her as anyone's mum, but that he had a particularly strong accent. "Oh!" she said, a little too loudly.

Getting a drink would probably imply that she intended to stay for a while and she wasn't even sure why she was still sitting here. But she was half sure that if the boy walked off first, she'd feel infinitely stupid. Besides, he looked sort of decent. Maybe he would sit still until Addison got a hold of her senses and finally figured out why she was there in the first place. "Yes, sure. A butterbeer would be fine. Thank you." she said.

Too many words. Addison sighed a little and then turned back to the boy. Her voice was a little tight as she asked. "Is it your own? The song, I mean."

Marlen went about making her a Butterbeer, pulling a clean, chilled mug from under the bar and turning to the taps to fill it up. Emmett kept his eyes frontwards, as he did not do very well with interacting with strangers. That was more of Marlen’s forte, but Marlen was busy fetching the girl’s drink, as well as processing the fact that Emmett might have a fan.

It was not that Emmett did not have fans. He was gaining quite a following with his peace movement. Ivy had never stopped offering her support, as did a few other people- Angelique and Nerrissa had even pledged support, though Emmett was doubtful of the former’s intentions. But when he was playing, he was white noise. No one really cared, they had their conversations. Very rarely was he even noticed.

Marlen delivered the drink and then leaned against the bar, content to listen in. She continued on and he held up a hand. “Wait wait wait wait. Are yeh tellin’ me you actually, truly listened to him? Him?!” Emmett glared at Marlen who retained his serious expression though Emmett knew he was kidding. Marlen was supportive in his weird ways. He had even been the one to introduce the band Flight of the Conchords to Emmett’s repertoire. They would not have usually been something he would sing, because he liked songs with a message, but they had thinly veiled undertones commenting on the futility of society, speaking of the corrupt nature of money and government and the like. And the songs were in his style and were all fairly quirky folk style, which meant he had grown quite fond of them.

Emmett turned towards the girl, nodding and running a shaky hand through his unruly wisps of hair, saying, “Yeah. It’s an original song.” Few people really ever spoke about any of his original songs and it was nice to know someone had recognized it as an original.

Addison silently noticed that he kept his gaze to the front. Either, he had a lot of fans and was used to people like her or he had none. And it felt mean even to agree to the latter in her head so she merely decided to wait it out until some sort of affirmation presented itself - which it did, rather swiftly, in the form of the barkeep's words. Addison had to pause for two seconds while her mind deciphered the barkeep's accent and then, nodded slowly in response.

She picked up her butterbeer, cradled the mug in both hands to allow the chill to spread into her fingers and took a sip, staring at the barkeep over the top of the mug. She set it down slowly and finally responded, still not sure if the barkeep was being serious or not. "Why's that such a surprise?" she said and promptly wanted to smack herself. She could see how that could be taken as a compliment but she could also see how it could dredge up some criticism, that is if the barkeep was still being serious. Addison once more picked up the mug, took a sip and desperately wished that she was back in her seat at the corner.

But then, she set down the glass and the duty of making conversation once again came upon her since she'd been the one to instigate it.

Addison let out a low sigh, reminded herself that this was mostly her fault and turned back to the boy, a smile on her face. Who cared, anyway? She could embarrass herself, if she liked. If her optimism persisted, she was going to be out of here in two months and then no one would care either way. So, her smile widened and then immediately faltered. Addison swallowed hard and forced herself to look away, staring at the tabletop and gripping her glass perhaps a little too hard.

There was a time and place for most things and one thing that there was never a time nor a place for were her neurotic tendencies - especially when they were directed somewhere other than herself. Merlin, this was bad. Addison wanted to slam the butter beer on the countertop and pat down the boy's hair until it sat in one position but since she was kind of, in public and in the company of sane people, she doubted that would be taken very well. Had he never heard of gel, or a haircut, or maybe not running his hand through his hair?

Addison internally winced a little and finally forced herself to look up. She swallowed the long-suffering sigh threatening to spill forth and smiled again. Too much smiling. Addison took another sip of her butterbeer, forced herself to focus on the flavour and then set it down on the table, perhaps a little too hard. "That's great!" A pause.

Addison figured that she could stop fantasizing about dumping an entire bottle of gel on his head if she kept talking and so, without a pause, she asked, "Do you sing here often then?"

Emmett closed his eyes at the girl's question, knowing that no matter how much Marlen actually did like Emmett's music, he would not be answering well. In fact, he would take it as a challenge to push Emmett's button's as much as possible. Even now, Marlen's eyes seemed to have accepted the challenge, gleaming as a smirk twisted onto his face.

He set the rag aside, holding up a finger to begin his explanation. "You see people here-" Emmett's eyes slid onto Marlen's, stopping the obnoxious barman's explanation with that look. Marlen held his hands up in surrender again, picking up the rag and returning to wiping down the counters, knowing that, otherwise, he might have lost the entertainment.

Emmett sighed, taking a drink of his tea before tilting his head to view the girl, saying, "People here don't like people telling them that choosing a side in the war, good or bad, is the reason we keep having wars. They would rather hear songs about romance and friendship than any with a political undertone." He lifted the drink back to his lips.

She asked if Emmett sang there often and Marlen jumped in, quick to bring the limelight back on himself, naturally. "I get to see his pretty face all the bloody time, he's come to love me, 'aven't you, Em?" Emmett hated Marlen's petname and would rather not say anything on that subject. So he just drank more tea. Marlen eyed the girl. "'Ey, what's your name, mum? Since Em's too akward to ask his only fan."

Addison tore her eyes away from the boy's hair just in time to see him shoot the barkeep a look which quite efficiently shut him up. She watched with a slight smile as he went back to wiping down the counters and shot the boy a sideways glance just to see if the barkeep's temporary silence would prompt him into speaking. Addison felt a lot less awkward when he finally answered, nodding as he spoke. He seemed to have an outlook similar to hers but where she was more cynical with it, he seemed to be more determined. She couldn't help but like him a little better for that.

"Well, they hear songs about friendship and love. They don't get any better at it either way." Addison muttered with a small shrug, not entirely sure as to why she was generalizing so much. She could say that it was because of the war but well, she didn't know anything about it. So she brushed it off, belatedly noticing that - despite how weak the reasoning was - it sounded a bit like a reassurance.

Addison turned back to the barkeep as he spoke, smiling again. Even though the man's accent was a little difficult for her to understand, his dorkiness was both annoying and endearing at the same time. So for now, she was content with listening to him as he seemed to be disclosing more to her about the the boy than the boy himself. Out of the corner of her eye, she watched him raise the cup to his lips. She had half a mind to say that she wasn't his fan but it wasn't often that something got her to stop thinking. Her music player didn't work at Hogwarts and at home, she listened to it so much that the music had begun to lose its effect.

It had been a refreshing little shock to hear the boy's voice, which coupled with his music was vivid enough to bring her train of thought to a screeching halt.

"I'm Addison." she said, paused and then continued. "And what's Em short for?"